Four To The End (prev Shifting Lines) Book Three (Marauders Era)

Chapter Seventy-Eight - Please, Snape

Remus woke up on boxing day soaked in sweat and shaking hard. He couldn't remember the nightmares, but could still feel the fear from them. Grumbling to himself, he crawled out from under his bed to get a shower and head down to breakfast. He expected to eat alone... though wasn't too surprised when Longbottom, Weasley, and O'Kelley (whose surname he found out the night before) joined him; he had the feeling this would be happening often over the holidays. He was surprised, though, when Weasley handed him some parchment. He stared at the homework for a few seconds before remembering he had told Weasley he'd help him the night before.

"You shouldn't encourage his stupidity," Longbottom said as Remus began going over the Astronomy essay, crossing things out.

"I d-don't mind," Remus replied a little absentmindedly as he scratched down a few notes on one of Weasley's dismal paragraphs. It was like if James and Peter had to write an essay together: loads of rambling thoughts, and most of it misspelled. And there was even a little bit of Sirius in there, to which he said out loud: "I, erm, don't think you—you—you c-can put the, erm, the... this... this word in an essay."

Weasley leaned over to look. "What, 'fuck'? I've done it before."

"And you get in trouble for it every time," O'Kelley said.

Weasley sniffled. "The teachers are prudish. If you can't say 'fuck' in an essay once in a while, what's the bloody point?"

"Once in a while?" Longbottom arched his eyebrows. "I don't think 'every other essay you write' should be considered 'once in a while'."

"All right, all right," Weasley grumbled, taking the essay from Remus and crossing out the word. "Can I say 'bollocks', though? I'm going to say bollocks."

Remus handed the essay back then returned to his breakfast, plotting out the day in his head and feeling strange withat all his free time. It was bizarre being at Hogwarts and not having anything to do. Part of him wanted to offer to look over all their homework, but kept that idea to himself.

After turning down the offer to go sledding with the three fourth years, Remus went back to his dorm to pen letters to the other Marauders. He put the Elton album on while he did, often flicking his wand to make Rocket Man repeat. He ended each letter with a 'Missing you very much', hoping that didn't seem too sappy. Their letter to him ended with an 'already missing you', so he figured it would be fine.

The owls were none too happy with him when he tied letters to their legs, sending them off. It wasn't until after all three birds disappeared that he remembered James was in America, and the letter wouldn't be able to reach him. Not unless he went to Hogsmeade and paid money for an overseas delivery which was A, too expensive and B, rather pointless.

Ah well, he thought as he left the owlery. Maybe I'll visit Sir Nicholas, or Myrtle... He licked his lips, wrapping his arms around himself as he shuffled along, deciding not to. He didn't want to visit with anyone. He wanted to be with the Marauders, and felt a gaping hole inside of him at their absence. It felt so different than when he was at home.

It's because this is where they are, he realized, looking down one of the corridors. Hogwarts meant the Marauders, and being at Hogwarts without them filled him with wrongness.

He stuck his hands in his pockets, ducking his head as he tried not to feel too lonely. He had thought he'd be able to handle it. Two weeks at Hogwarts without them. But it was only four days in and already he was bothered.

Maybe Longbottom and O'Kelley were right about being alone here for the holidays. He sat down on a bench to look out the window. It wasn't snowing anymore, but there was some on the grounds. It stretched out, an unbroken expanse of white. He put his fingertips against the glass knowing every inch of the grounds would be mucked up if the others were there. The three are out there somewhere, sledding. Most likely the other side, where the steeper hills were. At least they had each other.