Chapter Eighty - Reunited And It Feels So Good... Mostly

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Author's note: CW emetophobia, reference to drowning, accidental self-harm and panic attack, thinking something feels like a knife

*

The rest of the holidays went agonizingly slow. Remus felt lonely and miserable; except when he ate meals with the trio, whom he was slowly starting to feel relaxed around. But not enough to properly spend time with them; not yet. Though O'Kelley taught him a heating spell to make popcorn kernels pop. Sometimes the popcorn was burnt, but Remus slowly got better at judging it until he decided to up the challenge by flicking the kernels in the air and trying to make them pop before they landed. He got at least one out of every five by the time Thursday came around, and he proudly showed Miss Fawley the trick during their lesson.

"I'm glad you're making new friends," she said with a hesitant smile. "Just..."

"Be careful, I know," he said, fidgeting a bit because he wanted to both spend time with Fawley and also try to perfect the popcorn flip before the Marauders returned. "I'm not spending much time with them. They're definitely not like the others. Even if they act like James and Sirius sometimes."

He showed her the New Years Eve party, expecting her to bemoan the stupidity. When she didn't and he mentioned it, Fawley shrugged.

"When I was fifteen, my friends and I loved putting brooms high up in the air and trying to jump from broom to broom. We softened the floor as much as we could, but we usually ended up with a broken bone or two. When I was sixteen, my friend transfigured my arms into wings. I tried to fly. And failed." Fawley laughed. "I had to drink so much Skele-Gro I ended up throwing it up, and spent several days in the hospital wing."

Remus stared at her. "What d-did you jump off of?"

Fawley's smile faded into a stern look. "Never you mind."

"Oh, please!"

She ran her tongue over her teeth before sighing. "A third floor window."

"Did you really think you could fly?"

"I was sixteen, Remus. Yes. I did. Or at least soar a bit." She shook her head. "My point is, those New Years party games they were playing aren't surprising in the least."

"Did you ever eat raw potion ingredients?"

She shrugged. "Yes. On dares."

Remus raised his eyebrows, and Fawley changed the subject. He wondered what other stupid things she had done, and then wondered about the other adults. Did Professor McGonagall ever do anything like that?! He couldn't even imagine the stern, brilliant witch doing something ridiculously stupid, even as a teenager... but he couldn't imagine Fawley doing it either.

"You knew Professor McGonagall in school, didn't you?" She had talked about it before, he was pretty sure.

Fawley coughed politely. "If you're trying to find out anything like that about her... well, here is a piece of advice for you: I would rather try to swim with a gravity spell on me than get on Minerva's bad side by spilling secrets, if I knew any."

"You could use gillyweed," Remus pointed out. "Then swimming with a gravity spell wouldn't be too bad."

"Don't be cheeky." She smiled, though, and put her fingers against his temple. "Let's work on your Occlumency."

Remus wanted to try to extend the lesson as long as possible, but after about an hour his head was hurting too much. He got sick in a bin, and Fawley wouldn't keep going after that.

*

The Charlemagnes had been gone for most of the holiday, though they came back a couple of days early. Remus had seen Jean-Marie during meals, but didn't get a chance to say hello until Friday. Remus was in the library and Jean-Marie showed up with an armful of books, looking rather happy to greet him. He sat down and they chatted about his trip back to France. When Remus asked if he had visited family, Jean-Marie shook his head, telling Remus that 'truly' the only member of his family he cared about was his uncle.

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