Four To The End (prev Shifting Lines) Book Three (Marauders Era)

Chapter One Hundred-Forty-Four - "I'm Not Going Anywhere"

Remus woke up screaming, images of Black torturing Sirius by locking him in a pit with Remus during a full moon having filled his head. Peter, sharing with him that night of course, had jolted awake when Remus screamed and cowered back a bit, clutching the blanket to his chin. His lower lip quivered slightly.

"Sorry—" Remus panted out, pushing his sweat-soaked fringe back. "Merlin, sorry." At least he was only waking one Marauder up, since Sirius was sleeping in James's bed (upon James's insistence).

"S'ok." Peter swallowed, lowering the blanket a bit. "I didn't—wow. That was... kind've intense."

"Sorry."

"No, it's okay." Peter scooted closer. "It's been so long since we've had the spells on our curtains I forgot how—er—what it was like. Um. Are you okay?"

Remus shrugged, letting his arms drape across his knees. "Yes. Again, sorry—"

Peter put his head on Remus's shoulder. "Honest, Remy, it's okay."

They sat like that for a long time until they both lay back down, and drifted off once more. Remus's dreams the rest of the night were foggy and full of dark laughter, but nothing else made him wake up again.

*

All day Friday people kept talking about the Mulciber and Avery thing. A lot of the boys passed along rumors about how to get into the girls dorms, while the girls get talking about security for their windows. Everyone knew that at some point or another, boys managed to get into the girls dorms; boyfriends snuck in all the time somehow or another. But the fact Mulciber and Avery were caught had made it a conversation point and Lily told Remus during lunch that she thought more spells would be put on all the windows.

"Drat!" Sirius said when Remus relayed the message on the way to Herbology. "Not my intention at all. Ah, well, still worth it to get those two in so much trouble."

During Herbology, Remus rested his chin on his hand and struggled to keep his eyes open. Today's lesson involved in depth ways various magical plants were pollinated, and the greenhouse they were in were near the bee-houses. It was warm and humid, and the droning from the bees started to lull him into sleep. Next to him sat Sirius and next to him sat Landers who, despite being under a bee-repellent spell like everyone else in the greenhouse, kept making terrified little squeaking sounds whenever one got close to her; apparently her boggart the previous year had turned into a giant bee. Landers held Sirius's hand tightly the entire time Sprout lectured, and kept complaining about the bees. When one flew by, she screamed a shrill scream that nearly knocked Remus out of his seat.

"Miss Landers, you're perfectly fine," Sprout said.

Landers had her arms around Sirius. "It scared me!" she wailed.

"Then maybe you should sit near the back where there are much fewer bees," Remus grumbled to himself, not intending anyone to hear him though Sirius did and shot Remus a look. Remus gave a slightly apologetic smile back, and plopped into his seat once more.

Landers had heard him too. "How would you like it if one of your biggest fears practically flew up your nose?"

Remus arched his eyebrows, thinking of his own boggart. "All things considering, we would have a whole slew of other problems if that happened." James and Peter both snorted with laughter while Landers looked cross, and Sirius looked torn on whether to laugh or not.

Deep down he knew he was being unfair. It was the same bitterness he had felt with Cassie when she dated Sirius. Which made no sense since he didn't really fancy Sirius. Not—not like that. Sirius was good-looking, that was all. So was James and Peter, and if they had girlfriends taking them away from the Marauders, Remus would probably be a bit bitter at that too. Especially since he could never have that. He couldn't even pretend to have that! Even if he didn't have one or the other inside of him, he couldn't. No werewolf curse then he'd be alone because he was... like that. Not like that, well, he was a werewolf and still couldn't. He felt double-cursed. And suspected that was why he was taking it out on Landers (and, previously, Cassie). He needed to do better at controlling his emotions. Do better at seeming like a normal boy. Both as a werewolf and as a... well.