Author's Note: brief self-harm
-x-
Remus stared at his friends for a few long seconds as the words processed in his head before covering his mouth... and laughing. A few snickers at first and then outright laughter, bubbling out of him so hard his middle began hurting. He bent over, clutching his sides as he shrieked with laughter.
"Erm, wasn't expecting that response," Peter said.
He kept laughing until he couldn't breathe anymore and had to try to suck some oxygen in. "You—you—ahhahaha—you had m-me there for a second!" He wiped his face then began laughing again. It had all been a big joke. Of course. They were pranking him, it made sense now. "Oh, Merlin, for one tiny second I actually believed—ahahaha!! This is brilliant! What, is this in—in retaliation for what I did last year? With the—hahahaha—room behind the dragon painting with the lights and bloody message?"
"Retaliation?" James asked.
"He thinks this is a joke," Sirius noted.
Remus tried to stop laughing but couldn't. "Yes, it's a brilliant one. A very elaborate one! You really had me going there, what with going to my house in Hogsmeade and leaving the fake rabbit—or, or saying you did—this was terrific. I mean, not fully terrific, I was rather angry... you should have told me this bit on Sunday!" He wiped his face again, managing to hold back the giggles now. "I can't believe you let me get that upset!"
"Remus..."
"But it is impressive with the lengths you went to," he added, trying to ignore the squiggly feeling in his stomach, trying to ignore the fact his friends looked confused. They were just good actors. That was all. Sirius and Peter must have known he was outside the door the previous night. Of course! It couldn't be a coincidence. "This is definitely an O-level one, guys."
"Remus, it's not a prank," James said firmly.
The squiggly feeling grew, making its way through every inch of his body. He kept the grin on his face, forcing it now. "Of course it is. It—it has to be. I mean, you're talking about—hahahaha—about one of the most difficult transfiguration abilities to—to ever do. Besides, unless you intend to drug the entire Ministry of Magic... they don't allow anyone under seventeen to try it."
"Who said we're going to the Ministry?" Sirius asked, blowing back a few strands of hair. "That would defeat the purpose, anyhow."
His chest hurt a bit, the pressure returning. "So you want me to believe that three third years intend on becoming Animagus... illegally?"
"Not third years," James said and Remus let out a sigh, because no, it was a prank obviously. Then, "We definitely can't figure it out by the end of the year. But hopefully before our fourth year is over."
He held his hands up. "A-a-a-all right, assumi—as—assuming it-it is—you—assuming you are, which is ridiculous haha good prank... you do realize the youngest person to become an Animagus did so at seventeen which is considered a near-impossible feat, and that was Professor McGonagall, essentially the queen of transfiguration... and she did so under Professor Dumbledore's tutelage. You—you are aware of that, right?"
James shrugged. "Youngest recorded Animagus. There are probably other illegal ones out there, or have been out there. Who knows if any of them did it—"
"Did it what?" he cut in. "At—at—at fourteen? I can assure you that it definitely... is not... something that happens." They were being so serious, they all looked serious, and he felt sick. "Wh-why? Anyway? Why would you want to a-a-attempt something so... dangerous and complicated and—and insane as that? And did I mention dangerous? Life-threateningly dangerous! I—I know you like to do reckless things but this one is-is-is more than reckless. So why?"

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Four To The End (prev Shifting Lines) Book Three (Marauders Era)
FanfictionRemus's third year has him dealing with taking all the electives, his friends starting to date, and, in addition to the stress of being a werewolf, he's also finally realized something about himself that he is slowly trying to accept. Which just bri...