Four To The End (prev Shifting Lines) Book Three (Marauders Era)

Chapter Forty-Eight - Partners In Potions

Author's note: CW for unconscious self-harm (scratching self without thinking about it)

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The next couple of days passed by without much incident, other than meeting with Jean-Marie on Monday evening. That went... well, Remus wasn't sure how it went, but he felt he made Jean-Marie angry or at least annoyed. It started when Remus gave his condolences for his loss and Jean-Marie seemed bewildered. Remus muttered that he knew Professor Charlemagne's sister had passed away. Jean-Marie snorted and shook his curls.

"Yes, my Grand-mère," he confirmed. "What is the English word for what you said? The word?"

"Erm, condolences..."

Jean-Marie waved his hand. "No condolences needed. Je suis content qu'elle soit morte." Remus reeled at those words. I'm glad she's dead. "I hated her," Jean-Marie explained, noticing the shocked look on Remus's face. "She hated me. And Oncle Sylvain, too. I do not know why he went. It is not as if she would have... wanted him there. He is too... what is the word..." He thumped his chest. "Here, he is too much here. Heart."

"Soft-hearted?" Remus suggested, wishing he could disappear into a hole.

"Ha! Soft of heart, that is good." Jean-Marie grinned. "Yes, that. He should not have gone but he is too softhearted. She was a horrible, horrible woman. Full of hate. She does not deserve condolences. I don't either, for it isn't a loss for me at all. I don't wish to speak anymore of that... hmmm... cunt? Is that the right word?"

Remus choked a little. "I—I—I—I—"

"Let's work," Jean-Marie said, and didn't say another word on the matter; however, he smelled quite angry for the rest of their session, and didn't argue when Remus wanted to end it sooner than usual.

On Tuesday—a week after the incident—Lily and Remus spent some time alone together. Remus intended to talk to her about things—to ask her things... however he chickened out and they spent the entire time talking about other stuff. Mostly the upcoming concert, which Lily was very excited for. Apparently she and the other two girls were making special earrings for the event, and she said she was going to change her hair specifically for the concert.

"I'll have to do my best by myself, since I'll have to do it right before the concert so nobody notices the change," she said, wriggling excitedly. "I hope it turns out all right."

Then it was time for Occlumency. Remus went to the room, heart and stomach sinking into his feet. Fawley said she'd leave any memories of him and Lily alone; however what if the memory started when he said he thought he was—was—that word? What if she heard? Or heard Lily ask if it was Sirius? Or that Lily liked girls?

How am I supposed to keep this a secret? he wondered as he sank onto the purple sofa, vaguely answering Fawley's questions about how he was doing, assuring her he was doing better than he was last week.

"You sound better," she said. "Have you been getting plenty of sleep?"

"... no," he replied honestly. "Not as much as I should have. Erm. Do-do you remember what we talked about last week?"

"About any memory with Lily in it?" she inquired.

"Yes..."

"Yes, of course I remember. I'll do my best."

Remus wiped his sweaty hands off on his trousers before confirming that he was ready for their lesson. Of course the first memory they jumped into was the incident. Lily and Remus in the room, Remus frozen by the door. Before anything was said, they were torn out of the memory. Except the next attempt was the same memory, and the third one was the two of them clinging to each other as Remus sobbed.