Run Out of Emotion

Seven.

I woke up in a pool of dried blood. All normal then in the hellhole that is the life of Devin.

As I lifted my head I felt a rush of pain flood up my arms. Carefully, I looked down at my wrists. The skin was broken and ripped, and the bedsheets around me were bloodsoaked.

When I thought I'd cut too deep yesterday, I'd had no idea how serious it was. My arms were stinging like hell and I cursed under my breath.

Maybe I'll die. Maybe I had just accidentally committed suicide. To be honest, I really wouldn't mind death. I've died a thousand times inside anyway. Whoa, sorry for all the deep thoughts. But to be honest, I seriously wouldn't give a damn if I died.

No one would.

It was then that I realised that this was it. I had hit rock bottom. Nothing could get any worse. Before, I had depression and I felt sad and got angry. Now I don't have any feelings. At all.

I'm numb all the time. All I do is drink and let myself bleed. I'm silently screaming, but no one can hear, and no one wants to. Honestly, I don't know if I want to anymore.

You know what? I'm going to end it. I'm going to let myself die.

Well. If I was going to die, I needed to go somewhere and end the job. I didn't want a slow death, as much as I deserved it. Slowly, I picked up my blade and stood up. Instead of ending this life in my own, messy home, I wanted to go somewhere nice.

Just to stop breathing in a happy place, where no one would find me. I didn't change my clothes, I just went in my dirty clothes I had slept in. What did it matter?

Walking through the park, I got so many strange looks from everyone around me. Well, it's fair enough. It's not every day that you see a teenager walking around covered in blood.

As I reached the outskirts of the forest, I turned around and looked back. I could see my apartment from where I was, and my window looked longingly out at me. Something inside me wanted to go back, but I couldn't.

There was a rustle in the bushes and I spun round. No one was there. Wow, so now I was going crazy. Must have been the wind.

I sat on the ground and got out my blade from my pocket. Sighing, I looked down and could see my heart beating through my chest. My body shook with fear, and in a sudden burst of adrenaline I stabbed the blade in both my wrists.

Within a moment, the world went black, and like a deer in the headlights I met my fate.