Run Out of Emotion

Twenty Two.

A/N: Third update today  :) What's going on? I'm in seriously in a writing mood today haha xx

She wasn't there. 

Meredith wasn't there. She wasn't under the trees where I thought she would be. I felt the world stop spinning. My heart sank and it felt like everything around me had paused. 

Felix came up behind me. "Dude, this is the first place we've looked. She must be somewhere else. Come on. Let's keep going." 

I couldn't say anything. Felix didn't understand. Meredith wouldn't be anywhere else. She wouldn't go alone without any warning. Where the fuck is she? 

A hot tear ran down my cheek and I started walking deeper into the forest. Maybe she'd have wandered out alone. "Wait, Devin. Why are you stressing out so much? She'll be fine." Felix tried to lure me back. 

"Look somewhere else. I'm going alone." I mumbled, increasing my speed. 

"I'm not leaving you here!" Felix insisted.

 I ignored him and started shouting. "Meredith! Meredith, where are you?" Felix started walking behind me and I lost my temper. "Fuck off! I'm looking for her myself! Seriously!" 

"Whatever... Good luck, I guess." Felix shrugged and walked back to the car. "Call me if you need me." 

My hands shook with anger. How did I fucking lose her? I bit my lip, the newly pierced ring scratching me. I'm a waste of space. I looked at my scarred wrist and tattoo. 

'Live and Learn.' I read the tattoo. Well, I had learned something. That I'm a useless human being and there was no point me promising myself not to cut. I may as well die. 

Shit. The suicidal thoughts were slowly coming back. I need Meredith. She keeps me alive. 

I walked for what felt like hours until I saw a clearing. Glancing around, I realised I was lost. Hey, Meredith wasn't the only one. 

Fine. That was it. I'd lost all hope. Meredith was lost forever, and so was I. Maybe I'd die of hunger. Hopefully. 

I lay in the middle of the clearing and let tears fall down my face. No one would ever have any luck. Meredith would stay alone and depressed forever because I didn't protect her. I'm hopeless. 

My phone buzzed and I checked it.

From: Felix

She isn't at the store or the town centre. Adrianna can't find her either. You found her?

I didn't bother replying. There was no point. If only there was a blade somewhere. The only thing I wanted to do was cut. 

The thought of Meredith out there alone killed me. But she was out there, so I needed to hold on. She was the one thing in life I loved. Even though she didn't love me back, she must like me as a friend. I need to hold on for her. 

I stood up, a tiny piece of hope returning to me. "Meredith?" I called. This time, the silence propelled me further instead of discouraging me. I'll find her. 

I'll find my Angel.