Run Out of Emotion

Eighteen.

*Meredith's POV* 

As I walked in with my last suitcase, I sighed. "Geez, that was heavy." 

"Aw. Hey, I'll get the camp bed out." Devin smiled. He had seemed a little happier since our sleepover with Felix and Adrianna. 

"Alright. Where do I put my stuff?" I asked.

"I cleared half the wardrobe so we can have half each. I'll help you in a minute." Devin walked into the kitchen. Stepping into the bedroom, I breathed in Devin's scent. I giggled to myself. I'm such a little creeper. 

Slowly, I started placing my stuff in the wardrobe, and as I pulled one of my hoodies out of my bag, a small, bloodstained blade fell out of the pocket. My heart stopped. It was the blade that Devin and I had used to attempt suicide that day. I carefully clutched it in my hand, seeing the mixed bloodstains. 

I ran my thumb down the blade, and felt the aching need. Without thinking of the consequences, I pulled the sharp end down my skin, leaving a thick cut. Tears built in my eyes, and I let the blade sink in once again. 

Devin's footsteps neared, and I shoved the blade at the back of the wardrobe, pulling my sleeves down. He entered, immediately noticing the tears. "What's up?" 

"I have an eyelash in my eye." I shrugged. Devin nodded and put the camp bed down. He threw his duvet down onto the camp bed. "What are you doing?" I asked.

"Putting my stuff in my bed. I'm not letting you sleep on the floor, Meredith." he chuckled, and arranged my blankets on my bed. I thanked him and continued to put things in the wardrobe. My arms were really starting to hurt, but I hid my pain, just like I had my entire life.

"So. We're roomies now." Devin interrupted the silence.

"Yeah." I smiled softly. Devin came and sat next to me as I put the last few things away. I could hear his breathing and I turned around to see him cross legged, smirking at me.

"Meredith." He said quietly, as I sat opposite him. "You know when we kissed when we were at Felix and Adrianna's."

"Oh, erm,  yeah. Sorry about that." I said awkwardly. He was probably so embarrassed about it, and was going to tell me he wasn't interested. But when it happened I was so sure he loved me back. Because, seriously, I love Devin like hell. 

"Don't be sorry." He shook his head. "I was going to say... That I want to do it again... The kiss." 

I was gobsmacked.

Devin chuckled at my expression. "I'm guessing that's a no." he sighed, and his face fell a little. "Never mind, worth a try."

"No... Devin... I... I want to as well." I stammered. 

"Whoa. Not the answer I was expecting." Devin looked a little shocked. He scooted a little closer and I felt myself blush. Our hearts felt like they were beating at the  same time. 

His eye colour darkened slightly, and he leaned in, our lips locking. He seemed to notice my passion and desperation in the kiss. Slowly, he pushed me back so I was leaning against the wall, and he pressed his lips to my neck. I shivered softly, glad we were so close.

As Devin pulled away, we both smiled at each other like idiots. "I fucking need you in my life." he smirked. "Seriously, Meredith."

I laughed and raised my eyebrows. "Desperate bastard."

"Whatever. I think I love you." he shrugged. I was surprised because Devin never opened up about his feelings. He was usually so guarded. "Do you feel the same?"

"Um. I don't know. I.. I guess I'm just scared to get close." I sighed.

"It's okay. I can wait." he winked.