Run Out of Emotion

Twenty.

I awoke with a start. Something was wrong. Very wrong. 

Although I didn't know what it was, I knew that something extremely bad was happening. I reached for Meredith, to find that she wasn't in bed with me. Hey, maybe she got up already. 

Drowsily, I stumbled out of the bedroom and into the lounge. No Meredith. I checked the kitchen. No Meredith. I checked the bathroom. Still no Meredith. So, she wasn't in the house. 

Oh, I know. She probably had gone to the shop. Hopefully she was alright. I wonder why she didn't leave a note? 

I tried to keep calm, but deep down there was a feeling edging away, telling me to find her. I was meant to be looking after her. I'd promised myself I'd protect her.

Oh, Devin. Stop worrying. She'll probably be back soon. Looking out of the window, I had a mischievous thought. 

I told myself that as well as stopping self-harm, I'd do more of what I really wanted. And there were two things I'd wanted to do for years. I wanted to get a lip piercing and another tattoo. 

Without thinking, I walked over to my drawer and pulled out my savings. Six hundred dollars. That'd be more than enough. I left a note, saying I was going to the store, giving no clue about what I was doing. So when Meredith gets back, she'll be so surprised to see the new me. Hm, if I have any money left, I'll buy her something. I want her to be happy. 

Before I knew it I was walking down the main street, heading towards 'Forever Young' tattoo and piercing parlour. I was so ready. So damn ready. 

Strolling in and sitting in the waiting area, I realised that I had no idea what tattoo I wanted. You should wait months to make sure you like your decision, but I had minutes. I pulled down my sleeves and looked at my scars from cutting. 

Then the idea came into my head. 

I was going to have the words 'Live and Learn' just below my scar from when I slit my wrists that day. That would be perfect. A sting of excitement burst through my body. 

"So. You know what you want?" a large, heavily tattooed man said to me. 

"Yeah. Left lip ring and a wrist tattoo." I announced, proud to finally be doing what I want. 

"Sick. We're going to do the piercing first, so go take a seat." he smirked at me.

With all the excitement, I nearly forgot that I didn't know where Meredith was.