Run Out of Emotion

Thirty Two.

*Devin's POV*

I made it seem like I didn't want her with me because I was angry with her.

That was a lie. I wanted her there more than anything. I needed her there. The reason I didn't keep her there was because I didn't want her to see me in this state.

I was crazy.

There were voices in my head telling me to kill myself. I was constantly paranoid, and I knew one thing. That I was actually losing my mind.

"So... How are you feeling?" Adrianna asked cautiously.

"Fine." I lied.

"Meredith still loves you, Devin." Felix told me. Wow. Great lying. I shook my head and chuckled. 

"No one loves me." I shrugged. "Why would anyone love me? I'm fucking mental." 

"Seriously, Devin! We all love you and care about you. We just want you to get better and be happy. Just think about it, yesterday morning you were strong, happy and in love. Now you're in hospital having, you know..." Adrianna exclaimed.

"Fuck off!" I yelled, clenching my fists. How dare they lie to me? I was never happy! Slowly, a spike of anger rose inside my body. I had to control it. I had to. The voices can't get to me. "Seriously stop lying! I can't fucking deal with your shit!" I started screaming. 

"Devin!" Adrianna cried in alarm. 

Anger and fury started to whack me in the head, and I saw white. I couldn't see, but it took all of my power to not lash out. I felt people hold me down and I realised I was yelling.

It was like I was in a dream. I had no sense and I didn't  know  what I was doing.  A sharp pain stabbed into my arm and I immediately felt myself fall back into the crisp, cold hospital sheets. The world came almost back into focus, but my vision was blurry, and everything looked like it was in slow motion. 

"Are you okay?" I heard Felix's voice mumble after a minute or two. I looked up to see his concerned face. When I tried to reach up my hand I just twitched it. 

"Ssh, Felix." I chuckled, and I wondered why him and Adrianna looked so scared. "Hey, you guys look sad. Want to hear a joke?" 

"Umm... Sure?" Felix said nervously. 

"Ask me if I'm a piece of spaghetti." I instructed. 

"Are you a piece of spaghetti?" Adrianna asked.

"No." I said, and laughed softly. The two just stood there and they looked concerned. Why weren't they laughing at my joke? What was wrong with them?  "I feel weird..." I told them.

"They... Umm... Injected you with some kind of sedative." Felix said awkwardly. 

"Ohh." I giggled and lifted up my hand. I ruffled Felix's hair and he smirked a little. 

My head started to feel heavy and my eyes wished to close. I let my arm drop down onto the bed next to me and the world around me spun softly. The sounds of beeps and quiet talking around me faded as my body shut down into a deep sleep. 

The last thing I saw was Felix holding Adrianna close to him as she cried softly.