Run Out of Emotion

Seventeen.

My hands shook as I walked back into the lounge with Felix.

I had just made the biggest promise of my life, and I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to keep it. As much as I wanted to stop cutting and be done with all this shit, there was a part of me, deep down, urging me to just kill myself. But I wasn't going to listen. For Meredith's sake. 

Felix sensed my nervousness and grinned softly at me. I swear to god, he's the only guy I've ever met and not hated. He was an alright person, and he seemed to care. A lot. 

Adrianna was awake, and she smiled at Felix, then motioned us to be quiet because of Meredith sleeping. I looked down at her, her shiny black hair glimmering in the morning sun which was streaming through the window. Something inside me went all fuzzy, and I watched her chest slowly rise and fall. 

I had no idea what to think about the kiss, or if we'd ever mention it again, but all I knew was that standing here, seeing her, was what made me happy. This was why I made that promise.

Imagine if we'd both died that day. Imagine what we'd have missed out on. I tell you what, for the first time in my life, I was glad to be alive. 

There was a giggle from the other side of the room and I saw Felix tutting and Adrianna smirking at me. "You are so in love with her. Seriously, the lovesick puppy look on your face is priceless." Adrianna joked.

"Oh, ha ha." I said sarcastically, and knelt down next to her. "We kissed last night." I said thoughtfully.

"What?" Adrianna gasped.

"Go on, son." Felix winked at me, and I smiled softly, and focused my gaze back onto Meredith. Her eyes started fluttering open, and she looked up at me, bleary eyed.

"Good morning." I said quietly. Meredith closed her eyes again, obviously not a morning person. She sighed and snuggled into her pillow. 

"I have work today." she mumbled. "But I don't want to go." 

"Then quit." I shrugged. 

"Funny one." she said, her voice still sleepy. 

"No, seriously. We need to start doing things our way. You know, do what we want." I told her. "So quit." 

"I wouldn't be able to pay the rent." She said, opening her eyes.

"You wouldn't have to pay rent if you moved in with me." I said outwardly. If she lived with me, I could protect her as much as I wanted. 

"I... Devin... I.. I can't." she stammered.

"Why not?" I asked.

"Um... You know what, you little dickhead. I'm gonna move in with you." She outed and ruffled my hair. 

"Oi! Not the hair, Roomie!" I laughed.