Run Out of Emotion

Nineteen.

*Devin's POV*

I stared down at the knife. Should I? Is it necessary?

I'd promised Felix I wouldn't cut, and I wanted to keep that promise. But I had to let myself go. Blood was my drug.

I needed pain. I craved pain. I loved pain.

But then Meredith came into my mind, and I thought about her shiny grey eyes and her pale skin. Her pale, scarred skin. How could such a beautiful being cut themselves?

If I wanted Meredith to stop, then I needed to. And I was going to get my shit together if it was the last thing I did.

If I was doing it for anyone, I was doing it for her.

Quickly, I shoved the knife back in the drawer and bit my lip. Damn. That took a lot of self control.

"Hey." I heard a soft voice behind me and I turned around to see Meredith standing there, her cheeks blushing slightly.

"Hi." I smiled, and looked her up and down. Wow. She looked like an angel. Thinking back to the suicide attempt, when I thought I was in heaven and she was the angel, I was right. Because now I'm in heaven.

Heaven is wherever Meredith is.

"What did I do wrong?" She smirked. "You're looking at me weird."

"Oh, erm, nothing." Ugh. It was so hard to hide my attraction for her.

She was scared to get close, so I wanted to make her as comfortable as possible, as much as I wanted to jump on her and kiss the living daylight out of her.

"Devin. I'm kinda worried." Meredith sighed and looked at the ground. "In scared that I won't be able to stop until its too late."

I knew immediately what she meant.

"Show me." I said gently.

She rolled up her sleeve to reveal fresh cuts, deep ones. "It was earlier, when we were unpacking."

I pulled her in a tight hug and she sniffed quietly. "You can stop this. You honestly can. I'm trying to stop, so do it with me. Please." I begged.

She didn't say anything, so I picked her up and took her to the bedroom, placing her gently on her bed.

I passed the Angel her pajamas and turned away. After I had heard her finish, I took my shirt off and climbed into bed myself.

We lay there in silence, listening to each others breathing. Before I knew it, my eyes were growing heavy and it was hard to keep them open.

The camp bed I was using was quite uncomfortable and cold, and I pulled my duvet over my mouth. Soon enough, I was asleep.

It must have been the middle of the night when I woke up, stretching drowsily. Ugh. I was about to roll over and try and sleep again when I heard a whisper.

"You talk in your sleep." Meredith giggled.

"You're awake then." I smirked, happy to hear her voice.

"Yeah. Um... Can I ask you something?" She said shyly.

"Go ahead." I insisted.

"Can you come up here and sleep in this bed with me?" She asked.

"Why?" I chuckled.

"Because I miss you." She said in the darkness.

"But I'm right here, Angel." I promised.

"Its not the same." She pleaded.

I got up and climbed into bed with her, so happy she wanted me close.