max's pov:
i was sitting on my bed just blankly staring around my room thinking of any way to cure my boredom. what did i do before? like did i have any hobbies? there was nothing very interesting in my room, the only thing that seemed interesting was this skateboard that i found. i obviously can't use it, and if i could i didn't even remember how to ride it. there was an old peice of shit tv in my bedroom that didn't work, so i couldn't watch tv or anything. earlier i found some paper so i was doodling on that, and i was not too half bad at drawing, but i still sucked. i glanced over to the closet in my room and suddenly i had an idea. maybe if i went though my closet and looked though the clothes, it may say something about my personality maybe?
i grabbed the crutches and stood up off my bed, and stumbled over to the closet. i grabbed a few clothes off their hangers and tossed them onto my bed. i sat back down on my bed, tossing the crutches down and picking up the first t-shirt. it was a blue t-shirt with a darker blue on the collar. it was a plain shirt, and kinda looked my a boys shirt. next i picked up a long sleeve shirt that was stripped with the colours red, white, and a baby blue. again it looked like boys clothes, but i didn't really care. the next shirt i grabbed was a dark green shirt. the texture of the shirt was not like other ones, it felt pretty cool compared to the other shirts.
i grabbed one of the sweaters and it was a red zip up sweater, with a few white lines on the sleeves. the next sweater was a big baggy yellow one that was a pull over. it looked pretty comfortable so that was nice.
the last sweater i grabbed was identical to the red one, but instead of red it was green. all the pants that i grabbed were all jeans. some were skinny jeans, and some were baggy and had rips all over them. all of the clothes in the closet still were pretty similar to these ones, so they were persumsble boys clothes aswell. well i guess that only meant one thing. i was a tomboy. well that's cool that i officially leaned one thing about myself. i didn't have the energy to stand up so i just tossed all of the clothes onto the ground with all the others. i was about to lay down but then my stomach started to hurt and msks noises. i glanced over go the clock in my bedroom and saw the time. 9:36. oh- i guess that's why i was hungry..
i sighed and grabbed the crutches and stood up. i stumbled towards my bedroom door, and outside into the hallway. i made my way into the kitchen to see if there was any food, but then i saw my dad sitting at the table holding a beer with a cigarette firmly planted inbetween his lips. he swong his head around and scoffed. "what the hell are you doing up?" he asked me in a rude tone. "are we gonna have dinner soon?" i asked him. a confused expression splashed over his face as he spoke.
"we already had dinner- you know the rule. get your ass in bed now maxine." he orded as he blew out the smoke all around the room. "uhm, no.. i don't know the rule. i kinda don't know anyth-"
before i could finish speaking he slammed down the beer and clapped his hands loudly to get my attention, which caused me to stumble back a bit.
"cut this bullshit maxine, you are a faker and that's all you are. now your mother may belive this bullshit story about 'memory loss', but i don't. now get your ass in bed before i make you regret it." he explained in a loud thundery voice. as he finished speaking, all i wanted to do was cry.. but i couldn't. "okay dad.." i mumbled as i turned around and was about to go back to my bedroom, but then i heard his voice again. "and don't you ever fucking dare call me dad again. my name is neil and you know that." he orded before taking another sip of his beer. i nodded as i could feel my eyes start to sting.
i quickly went back to my bedroom, making sure to fully shut the door. i sat back down on my bed and let me head hit the pillow, and stared up into the ceiling. i didn't know why my da- why neil didn't belive me.. i was not faking- why would i fake something like this? i don't know who the fuck i am- who the fuck anyone is because i wanted to cause some bullshit? no!! the longer and longer i stared up at the ceiling, the more and more my eyes stinged, but no tears rolled down my cheeks.
i wanted to cry- i needed to cry, but i couldn't. i was sad- angry, frustrated, scared. any normal person would be crying right now. why am i not?
am i really that broken?
YOU ARE READING
memories ~ elmax ~
Romance"el?" i asked her. she turned around and looked at me. "i need help.." i admitted to her with tears in my eyes. she nodded and spoke. "i know you do."
