memories ~ elmax ~

pt. 33

el's pov:

i was staring anxiously at the clock. the slow ticking was all i could hear, max has been with the therapist for over an hour- and i'm just worried. my heart was pounding and racing, and i couldn't stay still for any longer. i stood up and started to pace around the waiting area, walking around in circles. max's parents left long ago, really shows how much they care about her.. but i think we've already established that. "fuck i can't take this anymore!" i mumbled to myself as i left the waiting room, and walked down the hallway i saw max and dr colleen walk down.

i looked at all the room numbers and the names above them, trying desperately to find the right room. eventually i saw a sign above a door that led to the counselling and therapy ward. i walked though the doors and eventually saw a room with the name 'dr colleen' above it. i approached the door, and was about to knock when i suddenly stopped. i heard a woman speaking, and saying something. but i couldn't hear anything, i could only make out three words.

borderline personality disorder.

hearing those words confused me. why would they be discussing that? i mean, now that i think about it, she does have a lot of the symptoms i guess, and she has trauma, bad trauma, it would explain so much-

before i could finish my thought, i heard footsteps and the door open, i immediately backed away from the door, and a tall woman with black hair opened the door. "uhm, can i help you?" she asked. "yes- i need to talk to max. when can i see her?" i asked her. "um," she said glancing back into her office. "you can see her now, i will need to talk to her legal guardian." the doctor said. "okay-" i said practically pushing passed her to see max.

i approached max, and immediately noticed her leg was shaking. i placed my hand on her shoulder. she flinched, and then looked up at me. "holy shit you scared me!" she told me as she caught her breathe. "i'm sorry- is everything okay? you seem-" i stopped not knowing how to even describe how she looked. "scared.." i continued. "i'm fine. let's please go." she said standing up. without saying another word she walked past me, and out of the room. she was walking fast, so i had to speed walk to catch up to her. "hey, so what happened?" i asked her. "the social worker was in there for a bit too, if joyce is okay with it i get to go home instead of being in the suicide ward. they think i'm fine now." she told me.
"wait so you can come home!? you don't have to stay in the hospital?" i excitedly asked her. "no," she responded as she tried to walk faster to avoid talking to me. "i'm going to my room to pack, you can just wait here in the waiting room if you want." she added before going off to her room. i was going to follow her, but then i noticed dr colleen and kathryn talking to mom. dr colleen handed mom a pill bottle, and mom, well- she had a worried expression on her face. she took the pill bottle, but she looked really concerned. i walked over to them, and mom looked at me and slightly smiled. "so el, max is going to stay with us until she is 18, they have decided there will be no need for court unless her parents try to sue." she explained. "how does that work?" i asked her. "don't worry about it, we just need to worry about taking the best care of max possible, okay?" she told me.

"yeah, okay.." i nodded not wanting to push her. dr colleen and kathryn walked away, leaving me and mom alone. "uhm, el i think you should sit down." mom told me. "why? what's going on?" i asked her. "just sit down, i need to explain something to you." she told me. i hesitatingly sat down, and she sat down beside me. "okay so el, there's no easy way to say this.. but do you know what borderline personality disorder is?" she asked me. "uhm, sorta. not exactly- why?" i asked her feeling even more confused. "well it's a chemical unbalance in your brain, and it affects your personality, mood, and it's kinda like black and white thinking. it's caused from trauma, and that's how max got it.." she told me.

"she has that!? is there a cure- or- or a treatment?" i asked her. "there is no cure, but with a lot of medication and therapy it can be manageable. it's kinda like dying your hair, you have brown hair, you can dye it blonde to cover it, but you will always have brown hair if that makes sense. it's always gonna be apart of you no matter how hard you try." she told me. "oh.." i mumbled. "does she know, or no?" i asked mom. "yes, dr colleen told her. so if she is acting weirder then normal that would explain it." she told me. "but she can come home?" i asked her. "whenever she wants. i can set up the guest room for her, or-"

"she can sleep in my room." i cut her off by saying. "are you sure? i can't imagine you would be okay with sharing your bed with someone- you can't even share your food half the time." she chuckled. "nope it'll be alright." i smiled. "okay, if you change your mind just let me know. but anyways do you wanna go check on her and see how she is doing?" she asked me. "yeah, i'll be right back- but where is will?" i asked her before going to check on max. "he's in the car." she told me. "got it." i nodded.

i walked down the hallway, and into max's room. she was sitting on her bed, blankly staring at the wall. "you alright?" i calmly asked her as i slowly walked towards her. "i forgot. i didn't bring anything." she told me. "oh yeah.. we didn't bring anything either. we were kinda in a rush.." i told her as i sat down beside her. i wrapped my arm around her and pulled her closer to me. "it's gonna be alright, okay? i promise you that. i promise." i whispered to her. she nodded and she slightly smiled.

but i knew it was fake.