memories ~ elmax ~

pt. 35

max's pov:

i opened my eyes and the bright sun light made me immediately close them again. i was about to roll over and go back to sleep, when i suddenly heard el's voice. "good morning," she smiled. i opened my eyes and slightly rubbed them, trying to get use to the sunlight. "morning.." i mumbled. i looked into her eyes, and immediately all the memories of last night came flooding back. i still can't believe it.
el fucking loves me? i don't know if i can believe it. it's almost too good to be true. "hey, um.. i have been thinking about something." she told me. "what is it?" i asked her. "i think i want to come out to my parents." she told me.

"really? that's cool!" i told her without thinking. suddenly it dawned on me. if she did that, she would also tell them that we are dating, then what if they kick me out and i will have no where to go?

"are you okay?" she asked me, placing her hand on my knee, causing goosebumps to scatter all though out my skin. "yeah- but what if they don't let me stay with you guys anymore though?" i asked her. "they would never do that. i promise you." she told me. "promise?" i asked her. "pinky." she said holding out her pinky.

i stared at her hand feeling confused, and then she spoke. "you don't know what pinky promise means, do you?" she asked me slightly giggling. "uh- no.." i awkwardly admitted to her. "okay, so hold out your pinky, and our pinky's just kinda shake. it's like a double promise you can't break ever." she explained to me as she showed me what to do. we did the pinky promise, and i couldn't help but smile a tiny bit.

since yesterday was the day we found out about me having.. well.. you know.. the medication the doctors gave to me are somewhat helping already. they stay in my system for 12 hours, and i took one around midnight last night, and it's only 8 am, so they're still in my system. it's kinda weird, i just kinda feel more smiley and less stressed out. i feel like my emotions might one day come back too. but i don't know, only time can tell. i snapped out of my thoughts, and realized that el was staring at me. "what is it?" i asked her. "nothing, you're just really gorgeous and beautiful. that's all." she told me.
i could feel my face turning red, and i almost felt seasick. but in a good way.

next thing i knew, el was leaning in, and pressing her lips against mine. i immediately kissed her back, and a feeling washed over me. yes i'm happy i'm kissing el, but a part of me still wants more. this is how i felt last night. i felt disgusting and like a pervert as soon as the words came out of my mouth about me asking el about sex- it's just, i was kinda wondering about that. i mean most teenagers surely do things like that before their an adult and i just want to-

"um, el- breakfast is ready." i heard somebody say. el immediately pulled away, and stared at the person standing in the door way in shock. i turned around to see who it was, and it was her twin brother- will. "uhm- okay. we'll be down in a second." she said staring at the ground and avoiding his eyes.

he crossed his arms and then spoke. "so what? i'm supposed to just pretend i just didn't walk into your room and see you with your tongue down her throat?" will asked, half serious, half joking. "what is going on with you two? are you dating or-"
"yes! we're dating okay? now just shut the fuck up and leave us the fuck alone! and tell mom we will be downstairs soon!" el told him slightly annoyed. "okay- question though. do mom and dad know? because if not they will definitely support you. plus it would of been nice to know i'm not the only gay one around here." will told her. "they don't know. i'm telling them later today, so just- don't say anything, okay?" el told him. "okay- um as you were then.." will awkwardly said as he shut the door.
"fuck that was awkward.." el mumbled as she stood up. "yeah that was.." i mumbled back.

we left her room and walked downstairs. as we entered the kitchen the smell of pancakes and bacon filled the air. "oh my god pancakes!" el shrieked as she ran to the table and sat down. i sat down beside her, but immediately felt like someone was staring at me. i looked over and saw will staring at me, but as soon as we made eye contact he looked away. "i'm so fucking happy you made pancakes- you just have no idea." el told her mom with a giant smile on her face. "i'm glad you're happy- but watch your language. we have a kid in the house." she said looking over at Johnathan. el looked over at Johnathan as well, and then spoke. "john, do you know what fuck means?" she asked him. he looked up at her, taking his eyes off his toy cars, and shook his head.