memories ~ elmax ~

pt. 27

el's pov:

i feel numb. i feel empty. i feel powerless. i don't feel real. is this what max feels? god i can't stop thinking about her. a few minutes ago the doctors told us we could see her in 10 minutes, but i'm scared. it's a 50/50 chance she will wake up, and if she wake up,
it could be anywhere from now and never. i can't fucking loose her. my whole world revolves around her. it's kinda funny how addicted and obsessed you can get to someone in a matter of days.

i almost got us kicked out of the hospital already for yelling. i was yelling at will. i keep on blaming him for this, but deep down i know it's my fault. when i found out she cuts herself i should of told somebody, anybody, but most importantly i shouldn't of left her alone tonight. it's almost two in the morning, and i'm exhausted. i can't sleep though, my mom and will are asleep, but i can't. i'm so exhausted from crying but i can't even cry anymore. i can only stare into the nothingness wishing i was dead if max is.

by now we were the only people in this specific waiting room, other then a few nurses who were talking about some work gossip. they weren't paying any attention to me though. i could hear the tv, but i couldn't quite make out the words. i am too exhausted to listen.

then i heard a name that made my heart skip.

"local teenager from hawkins indiana, maxine mayfield has been officially missing from her home for 7 days, and that makes it a week. anybody who has any information about this case, please contact 250-827-9272, thank you." the news person spoke.

my heart had stopped, and i didn't know what to do. people are gonna recognize max, and make her go home. she couldn't go home. it's not safe!

next the screen flashed to a older woman who looked like max crying, but obviously not real tears, and a man beside her.
"maxine, if you see this please come home. we're worried sick about you." the woman spoke. "yes, get your as-" the man spoke before stopping. "come home maxine. we're and your brother are worried sick." the man continued.

i immediately felt rage. they obviously didn't care or love her, no, not the way i do. they are not even worried at all, while i'm at the hospital crying my eyes out to the point i can't fucking breathe.
i hated those people, i've never hated anybody before i knew her parents. i hope they die and fucking burn in hell for all i care.

"miss?" i heard somebody say. i looked over and there was a nurse beside me. "are you here for maxine mayfield?" she asked me. "y-yes, is she okay?" i asked. "yes, and i have good news," the nurse grinned. my heart skipped another beat as i heart what she said next. "her vitals are steady and it's looking good for her to wake up soon. she's gonna be okay other then some mild symptoms and discomfort. other then that she's gonna pull though just fine." the nurse smiled. i practically sprang out of my seat, and almost hugged the nurse. "oh my god, thank you thank you!" i kept repeating, as i started to cry again, but this time happy tears. "c-can i go see her?" i asked slightly shaking. "yes, i will show you to her room." she told me.

i quickly nodded and followed the nurse. she led me into a room with beeping machines, and a pale red headed girl laying in a hospital gown. the first thing i noticed were bandages soaked in dry blood wrapped around her arms. "is she awake yet?" i asked the nurse. she shook her head. "no, but she could be any minute, or any day. we're not sure." she told me. i nodded and she left the room.
i grabbed a chair and dragged it over to beside her bed, and sat down.

my heart started beating faster as i grabbed her hand in mine, and gently kissed it.

"i'm so sorry max. i'm so sorry for everything.."
i mumbled as i gently caressed her hand with my thumb.