Join Sardiniastan on her wacky adventure with her closest friends!
Astroboss's food addiction & obesity crisis staring Astrodude, Astroboss, and Blaze as Sardiniastan, or AFAAOCSAAABAS for short, is a comedic fan fiction very loosely based of the so...
-~Sardi, a teal and white countryball, and a good friend of hers, Astroboss, also known as Hustun, sit down together at the cafeteria at NASA building. Sardi is visiting him and another one of her friends, Astrodude, for lunch. Hustun has been acting a bit strange lately, so Sardi and Astrodude wanted to have a talk with their friend. Unfortunately, Hustun was hoping to receive a special sweet treat, and it was not there~- AB: (scrounging around the fridge and cabinets) where is it Where is it WHERE IS IT?? SR: Hustun what are you looking for? AB: Cake, I need CAKE! GIVE ME THE CAKE SR: This is what we wanted to talk to you about... you've been eating a lot lately and are really aggressive- AB: MAKE ME A CAKE!!! SR: IEP! I-I-I-I cant bake! I know Astrodude can... ask him instead...? AB: ... Good idea. (He runs over to the loudspeaker system and speaks into it) ASTRODUDE COME DOWN TO THE CAFETERIA NOW I WANT CAKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEE!!! AD: (busy filling out some paperwork when he hears the announcement) (Sighs) he really needs to get some help... (makes his way down to the cafeteria, not excited to deal with Hustun, but happy to see his best friend Sardi.) AB: (waiting impatiently for Astrodude) SR: I feel like it's been a hot minute since i've seen Astrodude.. I wonder how he's doing... AB: He better be well enough to make me some cake. AD: (walks into the room) Hi Sardi!! Hi.. Hustun..... SR: HAI- AB: MAKE ME CAKE NOW AD: (Sighs and walks into the kitchen area. He begins to rummage thew the cabinets for cake ingredients) Uhhh Hustun... we don't have the ingredients to make a cake... AB: (stares him down, enraged) SR: uh oh.... This doesn't seem good... AB: RAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! (He is so filled with rage that he passes out, foaming at the mouth) AD: What just happened!? SR: I think he, I think he died! AD: No Sardi, he just passed out. (He fills up a cup of water and splashes it at Hustun) AB: RAHHH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING! GET ME TO THE HOSPITAL! MY RABIES IS FLARING UP! AD: Uh hustun you have RABIES!??! AB: JUST GET ME MEDICAL ATTENTION!! AD: Alright Alright! Sardi, help me carry him out to the car! SR: Yeppers! -~the two carry hustun out to astrodude's Ford Ranger, as hustun throws a pity party over his problems~- AB: Oh woe is me! My heart can take much more of this! Quicker peasants! Quicker i may pass away! AD: Astroboss, shut up for once. The less you talk the quicker we can get you to the hospital AB: (grumbles something under his breath then promptly shuts up,) SR: (lifting Astroboss up into the bed of the truck then goes up to the cab, next to astrodude) Uh, astrodude... he's foaming at the mouth. AD: (Shakes his head) How in the world did he even get rabies, i swear this is the most he has even been outside in like 3 weeks... (he starts the car and drives to the hospital)
Part 2: A Medical Mystery
DR: (Minding his own business) AD: (walking into the hospital, he and sardi dragging hustun with them) Uh can we get a doctor, our friend needs medical attention. AB: adsjbwjaodueuuilau DR: (Notices astroboss) OMG HUSTUN!! Hiii bestie you don't looks so well! SR: whar what? You know each other!?!? And are besties!? DR: yeah we are bffs! Come on, let's get him some help! (he helps carry hustun over to a operating room) (He begins taking measurement of Astroboss; his height, weight, temperature among other things) AD: So doctor, what his diagnosis? DR: well he is morbidly obese :(. hes gonna need to be put on a diet No sugary sweets (vine boom) Limit the carbs (vine boom) Fruits and veggies (vine boom) Lots of exercise (vine boom) AB: (In a moment of lucidness from his fit of rabies he rages) I HAVE TO WHAT?!?!?!?! DR: Its for your own good hustun! AD: oh no... SR: he's gonna- AB: BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!! (He begins thrashing about the room) IM NOT TAKING NO DIET!!! (his mouth foam has gotten worse) AD: AHHHH DO SOMETHING DOCTOR!! DR: (he swiftly pulls out a anesthetic, and injects it into the raging man) That should do it! AB: (Promptly falls to the floor) AD: SOOOOOOOO... what can you do about his rabies? DR: (shrugs) I dunno, I never learned how to cure that!
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AD: ... Wot SR: Astrodude.... Hustun needs help, we need to find a doctor to fix him! AD: Yeah I know Sardi, come on, lets get going (he picks up the sleeping astroboss) DR: Wait! Before you go! Take some of these incase he wakes up! (he hands them a couple syringes of anesthesia) AD: thanks, will be on our way -~Sardi and Astrodude swiftly make it back to the truck, loading astroboss into the back of the truck~-
Part 3: Dunkin Disaster
SR: so how do we cure the fat man? AD: (gets in truck with astroboss in the back) we find better doctor SD: OOOOOO like a witch doctor??? AD: no what they don't exist SR: thats what you think! AD: maybe a veterinarian SR: lol a large animal vet AD: they can help with his rabies AND his obesity crisis ...i myself do need to diet because ive been eating a lot... astronauts always gotta stay in tiptop shape ya'know SR: well I guess your not an astronaut then heheheh AD: ... sardi... that was really mean... (a couple tears roll down his face) SR: astrodude.. Oh astrodude i didn't mean to make you cry... it was supposed to be a joke.. AD: I-I-I know sardi, but it still hurts a bit. I know you didn't mean to hurt my feelings, but its a bit of a sensitive thing to me. You need to learn what you can and cant joke about. SR: (crying herself now) IM SOORRRYYYY WAHHHHH I DON'T WANT TO HURT YOU!! AD: (sighs and shakes his head) I forgive you sardi.... SR: (Wiping her tears away) I think you are an awesome astronaut even if you are a bit chonky. AD: thanks sardi. -~the car suddenly lifts up a bit, as if a large weight was lifted~- SR: GAH! Did you feel that? AD: Yeah, what was that? ... SR: HUSTUN!!! AD: AHHHHH DID HE FALL OUT?? SR: (looks into the bed of the truck) GAHHH!! HE'S GONE PULL OVER PULL OVER PULL OVER! AD: (careens to the side of the road and jumps out) WHERE DID HE GO?! SR: (Frantically running down the side of the road) HUSTUN!!!! WHERE ARE YOU!?! AD: Sardi! Get back here! We'll drive around and look for him. SR: (Rushes back to the car and hops in) where is he.... This is what happens when you don't strap people in... AD: yeah that was on me... should have know such a small amount of amnesia wouldn't work long. -~ He begins to drive back the way they came, both scanning the horizon for Astroboss~- -~ deeper in the city a loud ruckus can be heard in a dunkin donuts~- AB:GRAHHHH GIVE ME DONUTSSSSSSSSsss (he begins slashing and thrashing at the workers) AD: (hears the noise from the Dunkin) Sardi.. Do you think that might be... SR: Gah! I think that might be him! That rabies is getting to himmmmm. AD: (parks the car hastily outside of the restaurant and rushes inside to see the place torn apart) SR: (follows swifty behind him) AB: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH I DEMAND MORE DONUTS!! (he is holding a dunkin workergurl in his hands, shaking her and shouting at her)
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AD: HUSTUN PUT HER DOWN!!!! AB: (turns to him, with the rage of a bull in his eyes) RUAAAAAAR AD: Sardi, I think the doctor is right, he needs to be put down... SR: uh uh uh how? AD: think of something quick! Before anyone else gets hurt! SR: UUUUUUHHHHHH (she hesitates but realizes what she has to do) -~Suddenly Sardi's face burst open as a jaw full of gleaming translucent blue teeth jets out, grabbing and pulling Hustun inside sardi's stomach~- AD: ... Sardi... SR: (Brups) What... you told me to take care of him.. AD: spit him out Sardi! SR: (spits hustun) AB: (Runs out and off into the city screeching)
