AFAAOCSAAABAS

Part 28-32: A Little..., A Brilliant... A Dastardly..., Head..., ...Quality Time

Part 28: a little tasty lesson

AD:(after about an hour of driving they pull up at his house)
SR: (still asleep)
AD:(nudging her awake) We're hereee.
SR: uh huh
(sleepily gets out of the car and walks inside)
DV: OMGOMGOMG!! I'M GOING TO STAY AT ASTRODUDES HOUSE...
AD: (opening the door, most lights are turned off and noises are coming from the basement)
SR: (looks around) when food....
AD: let me warm it up, just sit down at the table
(he goes into the kitchen)
SR: (sits down at her chair)
DV: OMGOMGOMG... THIS IS HIS HOUSE?? IT'S SO COOL...
SR: shhhhhh dave it quite time....
DV: oops... my bad...
SR: its okay... come, sit down and eat with us
DV: (whispering) omgg... I get to eat food.. made by ASTRODUDE himself...
AD: (he enters the room and sets the food on the table) Eat up, i'm going to sleep
SR: Good night!! I love you Astrodude....
AD: goodnight Sardi... I love you too, don't forget that.
DV: eeerrrm.. What is this?
(he pokes the meal with his fork)
SR: food... good food...
DV: uhhh... I am NOT familiar with this..
SR: well first you stab some of the noodles on to the fork like this (stabs some noodles)
And put it into your mouth but you don't eat the fork
(eats the noodles)
DV: uhhhh
SR: Or you can use your hands..
DV: eww no don't you have manners
SR: ummm yeah I guess so...
DV: (he just stabs the pasta with his fork)
SR: now put it into your mouth
DV: (follows her instructions) this is GOOD!!!
SR: I know right!!! Astrodude makes the best food....
DV: He sure does!!! astrodude is just SOOOO cool....
SR: I still can't believe he considers me his best friend... even though i'm not even half as cool as him...
DV: YOU'RE BEST FRIENDS WITH HIM???
SR: yeah..... thats why im allowed to stay here...
DV: THAT'S SO COOL!!!! BEST FRIENDS.. WITH ASTRODUDE!!!
SR: (finishes eating) yup, we have know each other for a while now
DV: TELL ME MORE!! please!!
SR: Well, like a long time ago, so like we were both around 30, I was at a park, watching the stars, along comes Astrodude with his super cool telescope. I was super curious, so I went over and asked him if I could take a peek through his telescope to see what he was looking at. It was Saturn, I had never seen it up close before, it was so beautiful. We began to talk about space, then just general personal stuff. Eventually he said he had to get home. I told him I'd be at the park every evening to watch the stars with him. He would come some nights and others he wouldn't, but we eventually became such good friends, it was like we had never not been together...
DV: wowww...
you two have a really cool history...
SR: uh thanks I guess...
DV: (yawn..) geez.. it's getting kinda late..
SR: uh, you can sleep on the couch....
i'll sleep in Astrodudes room... again....
DV: HE LETS YOU DO THAT?!??
SR: um... kinda...? I just kind of wriggle into his bed while he's sleeping... I don't think his wife likes it...
DV: hmmm....
Okay then, you have fun.
SR: Goodnight dave!!
DV: (he hops out of the chair, and flops onto the couch)
(he turns over) good night sardiniastan!!!
SR: (walking up stairs) oh by the way, you can call me Sardi!!!
DV: (already fast asleep)
SR: oh nvm
(continues up the stairs and enters the master bedroom)
(wriggles into the bed)
-~hours pass and Astrowife is slightly annoyed by the fact Sardi is in the bed again~-

Part 29: a brilliant idea

-~a new day begins with Astrodude alarm going off~-
AD: hooooonk mimimimi
AW: (already out of bed and in the bathroom)
SR: aurghhh my body hurts... mopped to hard....
(walks into the doorless bathroom) oh hey Astrowife
AW: (washing her face) hey, sardi...
SR: (taking a pee in the toilet) yeah so don't be alarmed but there is a nasaball downstairs right and his name is Dave
AW: Dave, huh?
SR: (still peeing) yeah he is real sweet, but kinda naive, so if he might not understand some basic societal norms
AW: Maybe we could teach him a few things..
SR: (still peeing) yeah, it's crazy to know there is dozens maybe even hundreds more nasaball like him stuck at ROTSAR
(finishes peeing)
AW: Yeesh... we should get them outta there
SR: your husband has the same idea
AW: Well, his head is in the right place..
SR: And something isn't?
AW: He's... popular there, yeah. But I'm not sure if he can figure out how exactly to get all of them out.
SR: (washes her hands and puts her bow on)
yeah.... we have both been thinking of how to get them all out, but it's a complicated task.... with lots of things to work out...
AW: I hope you figure it out. I have to go to work.
SR: already???
AW: Get up early, stay up late. It's a demanding job, being a lawyer
SR: You need a break.....
AW: I have Fridays off, at least..
Gotta go, see you later. (she leaves the bathroom, kissing her husband on the cheek, then closing the bedroom door)
SR: cya... (under her breath) no kiss for sardi I see.. what am I saying im not her wife or kid lol....
AD: hoooonk mimimi
SR: Astrodude I have something I want to tell you.....
AD: (sleeping soundly)
SR: this again... (jumps on him, but she is no longer morbidly obese so it doesn't hurt him that much) wake up Astrodude!!!
AD: (jolting awake) AGAGAHH!! IM AWAKE IM AWAKE
SR: sorry... I don't know how else to wake you
you sleep so hard....
AD: Maybe just shake me awake?? hhh.. What is it?
SR: your wife needs a vacation
She wakes up every day super early and goes to work for a very long time then comes back super late, and has to deal with your son and you and all of our shenanigans, and she only gets Fridays off!!
AD: well.. I could ask her boss..
SR: I hope she doesn't have a boss like your boss....
Do you know her boss??
AD: ..yeah. They're kind of intense.
SR: I think I should give them a piece of my mind!!
AD: if you want....
SR:...
give me the number...
AD: (he shows sardi the number before going downstairs to make breakfast)
SR: (dials the number on the house phone) hello, you don't know me, but I know you. You take my friend away from her family for every moment of daylight, make her write stupid papers all day. You will give her a vacation and it will be with pay. I will be following up with more details later....
LM: Pardon?
SR: you heard me, i'll be calling again shortly (hangs up)
LM: Pranksters these days...
SR: soo Astrodude can you help me plan a vacation for your wife???
AD: I mean... I'm not sure if she likes to travel much. Born in Texas, moved here to Florida to accustom my job, she hasn't traveled much other than that...
SR: So her family is from texas???
AD: Sure is.
SR: Is YOUR family from Texas too???
AD: I mean.. kind of??
SR: What do you mean kinda.....
AD: Long story.
Focus on the vacation, please.
SR: oh sorry, uh yes I was thinking we could take her back to texas to see her family!! Or just to visit her hometown!
AD: Sounds like a good plan.. should we tell her now or wait for her to get home?
SR: Let it be a surprise!!
AD: Got it!
SR: We should get our bags packed in the meantime, you get started and I call her boss about the erm plans I'm making....
AD: I'll Tell Hustun!
SR: Do we have to take him?
AD: He'll wreck the house if we leave him here.
SR: aye fair enough, make sure to tell your son too
(dials up the phone) Hello, I am back. you will give the esteemed Mrs. Dío a week off for break or I will find you and I will kill you... and don't think this is a joke, I know what i'm doing.... Cheers!!
LM: WHO ARE YOU
SR: Your worst nightmare....
(Hangs up)
LM: Pranksters.. seriously.. I should give her a break just in case though.
AB:WE'RE GOING TO TEXAS??!!
WOOO-HOOOO!
SR: Why are you so excited? You can go to Texas whenever you want, you have the money to...
AB: umm
Funny story
I DON'T CARE
anyways
AD: Hustun if you're going to be rude, then no Texas for you.
AB: nooooooo... i'll be nice, I swearrrrr...
AD: Why am I even bringing you?? This vacation is for my wife..
SR: Yeah, you're not part of the family!!
AB: FIIIINE. MAKE ME STAY HERE. GO HAVE A FUN VACATION WITH YOUR WIFE. Whatever... (storms off.)
SR: erp, maybe I was a bit harsh.....
AD: A vacation. just me and my wife.. sounds like a plan.
I'll surprise her when she gets here.
Should I call her to come home early?
SR: Just you and your wife...?
AD: It's about time, anyway! My wife and I haven't gone on a vacation together since.. forever!
SR: Since your honeymoon probably ooooOOOOOOOoooo heh heh heh
AD: We're both really busy.. I had to go to space, and she has her demanding job..
SR: Astrodude Astrodude Astrodude... tsk tsk tsk.... you leave everything to me here at home and you two have fun on vacation... you two need the downtime
AD: Thanks, Sardi.. I'm gonna start packing, maybe call her?
SR: don't you want to give her the news?
AD: Stupid, stupid... you're right! Tell my son we're going to leave for Texas, I'll be right back.
(he runs up the stairs)
SR: (whispers) you're not stupid....
(goes down into to the basement)
Uhhhh astroson... you down here??
AS: (asleep on the floor)
SR: awww he looks like his mother...
(gently shakes him awake)
AS: Wh- what time is it?...
SR: uh idk like 9:30  but whatever your parents are leaving you
AS: they're WHAT!!!
SR: oh sorry I forgot to add they are leaving on vacation for a week in Texas to visit your grandparents
Silly old me
AS: Oh.. oh. Okay.
SR: yup... (standing there awkwardly while staring at him on the floor)
Welp um... I gotta... I gotta bounce (runs up the stairs as quick as she can)
AS: (going back to sleep)
SR: that kid... he scares me...
(looks around the house) my responsibility... for an entire week...
This place shall be spotless by the time they come back...