AFAAOCSAAABAS

Part 36-39: The Truth Revealed, Idiots, Fun and Games, Breaking Fast

Part 36: The Truth Revealed

AS: ...Sureee. Sardi, may I ask you a few questions?
SR: Yes of course, what do you need
AS: Ran some.. tests.. on you. You barely resemble that of a human.
Care to explain?
SR: uhhhh could we talk in private??
AS: Mmmhhhmm.
Lead the way.
SR: (walks into his room)
AS: (He closes the door.) So.
SR: Why do you want to know so bad.....
AS: For all I know, you could be an Alien.
SR: i'm not....
Let's just say, I'm not from around here....
let's also say, of the species I come from, i'm not normal either
AS: Another species??
SR: Well uh, yeah im a countryball, you're a humanball...
but the country i'm from... it's not normal to have this stupid retractable jaw....
AS: Go on.
SR: you... you.. you.. YOU'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND!!! TO BE HATED BY EVERYONE!! ever wonder why im named such a stupid name???? BECAUSE THAT'S ALL I KNEW!!! My own family hated me so much they never even named me!!! They thought I was a bad omen and I would destroy them all!! I JUST WANTED A FAMILY!!! I didn't want to be born like this IT JUST HAPPENED TO HAPPEN!! They eventually sent me away, alone, on a ship to america! I WAS FIVE!! (Falls over on the ground, completely bawling her eyes out)
AS: (Stepping around Sardi, opening the door. Dave peeks into the room.)
DV: Oh no!! What happened???
SR: (ugly crying) don't look at meeehh...
DV: (he gets down on the floor to hug sardi)
SR: noooo nooo you dont understand.....
(still ugly crying into the floor)
DV: (just hugging her as she cries)
SR: noooooo dave stop.... how could you ever love this!! (shoots out eel jaw and it stays stiff, showing off all the sharp, translucent blue teeth)
DV: ...
It looks cool!!
SR: (stops crying for a moment)
You... think... I look cool?????
DV: Yeah!!
You could do like, awesome things and stuff!
SR: (jaw sucks back into her face)
OH DAVE I DON'T DESERVE YOU!
(Cries again, this time happy tears, as she falls into dave's "arms")
AS: (rolls eyes)
Okayyy. Are you done yet?
SR: Hold on...
(Squeezes dave a little bit harder then releases)
Now I'm done!
DV: (drenched in her tears)
AS: ..Mhm. Can I please have a further explanation of your species?
SR: well i... uh... don't know much else about my species... my family kept me in a box most the time instead of talking to me
AS: ..Great. You come from Sardiniastan, right?
SR: Yes sir!
AS: Do you think you know what exactly this.. Mutation of yours came from?
SR: Uhhhhh idk..
smoking while pregnant...?
AS: Very helpful. Where is Sardiniastan on the map, exactly?
SR: Beats me!
AS: ..Okay.
You can leave now. I should be able to do my research alone.
DV: Finally, this place gave me the creeps.
SR: Yeah lets go (sardi and dave walk out of the room)
So what do you want to do now...
DV: (strained thinking)
SR: (also strained thinking)
-~this matter of tomfoolery goes on for around 30 minutes~-

Part 37: Idiots

AS: Are you done loitering outside?
SR: uhhhhhhh huh? We arent littering! We love the earth!
AS: Loitering means to hang outside a certain place without reason.
DV: I knew that!!
AS: Maybe go downstairs while I figure out the deal with you, Sardi.
DV: Sardi??
SR: oh yeah!! I forgot to tell you! People call me sardi, its easier to say
DV: Better than Sardiniastan, what a mouthful.
SR: yeah ik you dont like that name...
(begins to head downstairs)
DV: (Rolls down the stairs, hitting his head along the way)
SR: DAVE!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!
DV: It's fun!!
SR: Well yeah but you could hurt yourself!!
DV: (falling face first onto the floor)
SR: (in a shaky voice) are you okay...
DV: Mmmhm!
SR: You have no sense of self preservation do ya?
DV: We're very replaceable.
SR: (grabs him) DAVE NO ONE COULD REPLACE YOU!!!!
DV: Erk- I guess I am different??
SR: (hugs him) you are, and don't ever forget it!!
DV: Thanks, Sardi!!!
SR: awwwww I like when you call me that (blushing)
DV: Hehehe..
I'm getting kinda hungry..
SR: (drops him) we haven't eaten since breakfast....
DV: Can we get more pizza?
SR: How many?? I'm SUPER hungry...
DV: Four!! Four!
SR: Four?? I'll get 5 then...
DV: That's even better!!
SR: (grabs the phone and dials the pizza shop) hi can I get-
PM: We're on our way!
SR: (in a faint voice) I didnt even order....
DV: That is one weird pizza place..
PM: (Loud knocking on door.)
SR: (opens door)
PM: (stack of Pizzas on the porch)
SR: (looks to the sky) thank you omnipresent pizza man...
(grabs the pizza and rushes inside and shouts) PIZZA TIME!!!!
DV: Pizza!!!!
AS: (appears on top of the stairs) Quiet, you two. I'm busy.
SR: (mumbles) party pooper....
(sets pizza on counter and opens the box)
mmmmmmm that looks so good.. 😵‍💫
DV: Why don't you eat with us??
AS: ...I suppose I could take a break.
SR: YES! please! Come spend time with us!!
AS: Fine. But this is valuable research time, wasted.
(Scaling down the stairs)
SR: sometimes you need to take a break, kid!
DV: Overworking is bad. #235 decided to work overnight and the next day he looks like he fell through a banister made of razor blades.
AS: ...Okayyyyy.
DV: (already demolishing a pizza)
SR: why did that even exist...
meh whatever (shoots out jaw and eat an entire pizza)
AS: Interesting..
PM: (SCREAMS OF PAIN)
DV: I wonder how Astrodude is doing!
SR: we can call him after dinner!! We could do a magic space face call with astrosons ipad...
DV: Space face what now?
SR: yeah when you use the ipad and you see your friend through it, like magic....
AS: It's my ipad. You can't have it.
SR: awwww... okay....
AS: ..Maybe for just a little while. This pizza *is* good.
SR: (shoots out jaw again) DAVE FEED ME!!!
DV: (Throws a pizza into the mouth)
SR: NOM NOM NOM!
THANK YOU DAVE!!
DV: Heheh...
SR: erk... I think I'm getting a bit full....
DV: Maybe it's a bit *too* much pizza..
SR: (snaps her head towards him) NEVER!! NEVER TOO MUCH PIZZA!! (Grabs a slice and shoves it in her face)
DV: (Flinching back at the sudden scream)
SR: (panicked) WHAT WHAT?!?? WHAT'S WRONG?!?
DV: Nothing! Nothing.. I'm just not used to loud noises..
SR: sorry.... I can be a bit loud sometimes...
AS: (rolling eyes)
SR: What's your problem!!!
AS: You two are being all lovey dovey. And I thought my parents were bad..
SR: you will learn one day... er, maybe...
AS: I'd rather not.
SR: ...
Wellllll this is a bit awkward...
DV: (feasting on pizza)
SR: (turns to the pizza) errrr maybe just one more slice....
PM: (SCREAMS)
SR: OKAY EVERYTI-(realizes dave is there)- everytime we eat this pizza I hear screaming!!!
DV: I don't hear it?
SR: im going insane arent i...
DV: I think I've had enough pizza..
SR: astroson you good on pizza?
AS: ..You two ate most of the pizza before I could have my second slice.
SR: well... there is still some, so i'm offering the rest to you...
AS: I'm good, thanks.
SR: Are you sure???
AS: I'm fine. The faster I get back to my research the better.
SR: Okay then! (Opens her eel jaw and shoves the rest of the pizza into her mouth) there! No left overs!
DV: Awesome!!!
AS: (Heading back upstairs, making gagging sounds as if to make fun of the relationship between sardi and dave)
SR: grrrrrr hes just jealous....
So Dave? care to play some more video games together?
DV: Is that even a question? Yes! Of course!!
SR: yay!!
-~they hold hands as the walk upstairs to the guest room~-