AFAAOCSAAABAS

Part 58-60: 0-0-4; Rage, Fury Hatred Couches; Into the Wild

Part 58: 0-0-4

-~(on the loudspeaker at nasa) Nasaball ID number 004 please report to Office A02 immediately~-
NB004: uhggg what could he want THIS time...
(slams open the door to the office) What do you want.
NB001: Hello, 004. Take a seat.
NB004: (doesn't sit) make it quick 001
NB001: I assume you've heard of the escapees?
NB004: of course i have, its been BLARING in my ears all day
NB001: And the unfortunate passing of 003, I presume.
NB004: yeah... unfortunate....
get to the point 001
NB004: I'm offering you the position 003 once had. Because of these escapees, it puts our entire operation at risk. We need a strong, effective way to deal with defects and I believe you have the mental capacity to do so.
NB004: finally! Someone recognized im more than these other brainwashed zombies! Ill take the gig 0-1
NB001:Good. Let's get to business. How should we deal with these defects?
NB004: we need to find and dispose of them in any way. I say, we use any means necessary to capture those two. We dont need to worry about the monster, and focus on the Nasaballs.
NB001: Brilliant.
When do you think we shall execute the plan?
NB004: at night. We need to make sure that Astrodude and his wife aren't home though, so its only 1025. We must have as few witnesses as possible.
NB001: Agreed
They will not rise to see another day
NB004: hahahah!!! Good, those two have been bothering me anyways...
NB001: Oh? You have a history with them?
NB004: yes... 1025 was under my direct command, he RARELY listened... and 1010 always was getting into trouble, messing stuff up. Errr they get on my nerves..
NB001: I see... how long have they been defecting?
NB004: oh for 1025, less than a year but 1010 sheeesh at least 5 years...
NB001: Hrm... I should've been alerted of this sooner.. anything else?
NB004: not really, they were the only nasaballs i really noticed defecting in any significant amounts.
NB001: I wonder how this was caused.. no matter.
NB004: They will be eradicated.
NB001: Is it final?
Shall we do it?
NB004: affirmative sir
Part 59: Rage, Fury, Hatred, Couches.

— meanwhile at the furniture store —
SR: so many couches......
DV: so many..
AW: well we need to find the salesmen and ask for a couch that can better suit our growing family (under her breath) growing in more ways then one...
Salesman: Well hey there! Are you looking for something in particular?
AW: well yes um, our couch has recently umm... recently became unusable.. and i need a couch that can comfortably fit a family of five...
Salesman: geez, five? Well... we have this sturdy, reinforced couch. It can be yours for... Let's say five thousand!
DV: that's a lot of dollar!!!!
SR: idk how to count that high!
AW: oh my... ill have to talk to my husband...
Salesmen: Ah, a married woman I see! Well, I'll wait.
AD: Hey hon! What's up? I'm trying to find the milk right now...
AW: well um, sardi and dave had a little accident with the couch... and an new one is going to cost us around 5,000 dollars..
AD: Haha, what?
You're joking, right?
AW: no im not... sardi and dave broke the couch, and the salesman said our best bet is this one thats 5,000 dollars...
AD: .....
(deep breathing) Stay calm, Astrodude..
SR: (starts tearing up a little bit) dave... i think our size is hurting them more then it hurts us...
AD: STAY CALM, ASTRODUDE! IT'S *JUST* A COUCH..
DV: what do you mean?..
SR: well i can here astrodude in the telephone and he sounds angry... i feel really bad... i think we should really REALLY try to start a diet, so we dont hurt them anymore then we already have...
AW: honey? Are you okay?
AD: OKAY? I'M FINE! I'M FIIINEEEEE. I JUST DIDN'T HAVE MY COUCH BROKEN AND SHATTERED INTO PIECES, SO IM NOT EVEN ANGRY. WHATSOEVER. SO HAPPY!
DV: errr... i guess we could..
AW: im coming over right now, you are obviously not fine. (Hangs up)
You too stay here and PREPARE for wrath, because when astrodude comes back, you will NOT be laughing.
(Runs out of the store and floors it to the grocery store)
SR: ...
(Burst into tears)
WHAT HAVE WE DONE!!! ASTRODUDE IS GONNA HATE US FOREVER !!!!
DV: (bursts into tears alongside her) NAAAOOOUUUUUU!!!
Salesmen: Errruhhh...
We're having a half off sale today..,
SR: (sniffling) your are?
Salesmen: Sure Are. That couch? Now 2500.
SR: omg!!! Maybe we can afford it then!!!
DV: yessss! i can't wait to tell astrodude the good news!!
-~a few minutes later, Astrodude and his wife arrive back to the store~-
AD: (RAGING)
SR: (her excitement about the new price quickly turns to utter terror)
AD: Sardi. Dave. What. Did. You. Do.
SR: (whimpering) we-we-we (bursts into tears) WE BROKE YOUR COUCHIMSOSORRYWEDIDNT MEAN TOOO!!!
DV: (he tries forming words but he just starts sobbing)
SR: ARE YOU KIDDING? I TRY TO DO SOMETHING NICE, I LET YOU LIVE IN MY HOUSE FOR SO LONG, AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME. BY BREAKING MY COUCH AND MAKING YOURSELF THE VICTIM.
SR: WHERE SORRY!! WE DIDNT MEAN TOO!! WE'LL DO ANYTHING!! JUST PLEASE DONT HATE US!!!!
AW: (walking in from the car and hears Astrodude yelling) oh dear....
AD: (he takes a deep breath) Look. I know, i know, you're sorry for this. I won't hate you. This.. this is just a lot to take in. I don't get paid until next week and I don't have the money to buy a new one. I'm sorry for my outburst.
SR: (blubbering threw her endless stream of tears) the friendly sales man said that its half off today....
Salesmen: Ayup!
AD: That's.. not important. I don't have the money.
SR: what can we do to help you pay for it....
AD: Just... try and not eat that much.
I don't know where the other half of my money goes, but this half goes towards feeding everyone.
SR: (looks at dave) welp, no more crazy meals for us... (looking back at Astrodude. She has a look of shame and failure in her eyes. She looks at him for around 2 second then hangs her head in shame)
AD: Don't worry about it too much.. we'll get a new couch soon.
Sr: (doesn't respond)
DV: (too busy sobbing on the floor)
AW: (goes over to dave, she pulls him upright and walks him out to the car)
AD: Come on, Sardi. Let's go home.
SR: (still looking a the floor she walks out to the car)
AD: Hhhhh.. hun, i feel really guilty about snapping at them..
AW: hrnnn.. im not quite sure what to do to help, but If i were you a I would give sardi a hug. You know how much she appreciates physical affection...
AD: (he hugs sardi before hopping into the car)
SR: (her white stripe turns a light pink) thanks... i needed that.
(hops into the car) since we don't have the couch anymore.. should dave and i like go somewhere else to sleep??
AD: I'm sure we have a few sleeping bags...
SR: No, I meant like. Go get like cheap motel room... i feel like it would be best if we just left you guys alone for a bit... we have already caused so much trouble...
AD: Oh! Well, if you're ready to. I won't rush.
SR: I'm sure we could scrounge up enough money...
AD: Okay, then.. is Dave onboard?
SR: I think Dave would be okay with it...
AD: Well, I'm sure you'll be fine then.
SR: (sits alone in silence in the back of the car, she's still holding her head in shame. The few thought that run threw her head are all of self hatred)
-~in astrowifes car~-
AW: (helps Dave into the back of the car)
DV: (he sits in the backseat looking completely dejected)
AW: ...
Um Dave
Just want you to know that we still love you... Astrodude didn't mean it when he snapped at you like... he just let his emotions get the better of him. He has been under a lot of stress lately, and it just got to him...
DV: (he nods but otherwise says nothing)
AW: (a few minutes of silent driving pass)
Hey Dave, I know we don't know each other super well, but I truly do care for you, so if you even need to talk, I'm here for you...
DV: (no response)
AW: (drives the rest of the way home in awkward and tense silence)
-~both parties arrive to the house~-
DV: (he exits the car with his head hanging low)
AW: (exits the car silently and hurries to the house)
SR: (slips down out of the car, walking slowly in shame to the door)
— everyone heads back inside with a sorrowful mood —