Imperfection

s i x t e e n

I'm scared
I've never fallen from quite this high
falling into your ocean eyes

________________________

It felt quite weird; my body slowly started to feel numb again, when I thought about playing Köln the day after tomorrow. But then I looked at her, at Jill, and every single thought in my mind went quiet. After we finished eating, we drove around the streets of Munich together, Jill bringing me to a small skyscraper and taking me inside. With the elevator, we soon got to the top and the just had to climb up some old stairs, until we reached the rooftop. Jill took my hand in hers and brought me to the edge. We sat down besides each other, looking over Munich. To be honest, Munich was a beautiful city and the people I had met here made my dislike towards it go away.

,,Did you ever think about meeting your dad here?", Jill asked softly, not in a rude way, but just because she was thinking about it herself.

,,Yeah...", I started. ,,It was one of the reasons I just didn't want to come here." I didn't look at Jill, just watched the bright blue sky slowly turn into a light pink, but I could feel her gaze resting on me. ,,I think I wouldn't even recognize him anymore.", I said, a little quieter now, before I felt Jill bringing me closer to her.

,,I wonder what he would do.", she mumbled and I nodded slightly.

,,Do you think he'd remember me?", I asked, not knowing what answer I'd like to hear.

,,I'm not sure, but I think parents will always recognize their child.", she sighed. There was silence for a moment, both of us deep in thought.

,,I was six.", I breathed, wondering if he ever actually spent attention to me at all. ,,I don't want to meet him if he is still the man my mother and I left back then, but somehow...", my voice trailed off.

,,Somehow you'd like to have a parent.", Jill ended my sentence and I nodded.

,,He could never be a parent to me the way my mother were, let alone P and Magda, but he's the only person I have left." Jill didn't answer to that. She just brought me even closer and we spent the rest of the beautiful sunset in silence, until the stars appeared.

,,I love the sunset.", she smiled softly, making look at her.

,,Me too. Even though I like the sunrise better.", I chuckled and she groaned playfully.

,,Nooo, too early!", she complained, making me laugh. Jill and I made our way down again soon though, sliding into the car and driving back home. We fell asleep just like the night before and I felt okay. The world felt okay, like everything was slowly falling into place. I didn't think about the match or any other worries. I was happy. And I enjoyed that.

~•~

The next morning, I was standing at the airport with Jill. She had to leave, I had to go back to training since tomorrow we'd have a match, but I just didn't want to let her go. The moment I had been waiting for didn't come yet and it bothered me. I was scared that if I let her go now without taking my shot, it'd be to late, but when she looked at my face, she just smiled softly at me and took me into her arms.

,,I'll miss you.", she mumbled and squeezed me closer.

,,I'll miss you too.", I sighed, feeling her press a gentle kiss onto my head. The innocent touch making my heart flutter once again, until she let me go again, leaving my insides feeling cold.

,,Don't worry, Aurie. We'll see each other again next week already, remember?" We had a match next week against Wolfsburg and I was excited to say the least. Even though my stomach turned upside down at the thought of playing, the thought of seeing Jill while doing so made that up again. I smiled at the blonde and nodded.