Imperfection

t w e n t y o n e

Oh, I'm just a kid
I'm no longer a kid
I never use my brain
And everything has changed

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My heart was beating so fast I thought it would jump out of my chest any minute. Why was I so nervous? Why did this feel so wrong? Well, probably because he is risking the only trophy that he can still get this year, so I don't feel a little overwhelmed. But I need to do this. Not only for me, but for them. I took a deep breath and knocked on his door, entering his office as he called me in.

,,Aurie.", Alex smiled. ,,How come you're here?" I sat down in front of him, a tight smile on my face as my fingers started picking on each other. A stupid habit.

,,I have a question.", I mumbled, knowing I wasn't in the place to ask for any favours.

,,Don't be nervous. Whatever it is, you'll be fine." My muscles relaxed at his words and I once again was surprised how he could be this nice as a coach. Maybe he was just to me, but that didn't matter then. Emma was family for me and I knew I was for her too, but in training she sometimes could be a little harsh. She often said things that would hurt or make you feel uncomfortable, but she pushed you at your very top. She made you the best version of yourself. And that made her the best coach in this world for me. Right now though, I was happy that Alex was the kind of person he was.

,,You're doing so much for me at the moment. I shouldn't ask for even more.", I chuckled awkwardly, but he just shook his head.

,,You know Aurie, Emma gave you to us to make you find your feet. To give you the opportunity to shine and get better, both physically and mentally. I have no intentions in doing something else than that. You're not on loan because you weren't good enough, nor because we want you to get us trophies. You are here so you can find what makes you happy, to learn what's important and to get to know yourself since you never had that opportunity before. That's all we expect. You're allowed to ignore the pressure you get from people that don't even know what this is about. Concentrate on finding yourself.", he said and it felt like my whole body was relaxing, like the weight that was constantly pushing me down these past weeks was lifted off my shoulders. I smiled at him, before starting to tell him about Annie.

~•~

,,Over here, Aurie!", I heard a familiar voice say behind me as I looked around the airport and before I realised, I already found myself in her arms, her bloomy scent filling my nostrils. Magda.

,,I missed you so much!", I mumbled into her sweater as she held me close, snuggling her head into my shoulder. This was exactly what I had needed.

,,Oh, I missed you too, tiny!" She kissed my head before pulling away.

,,How is Annie?", I asked, still not sure if I had to be worried.

,,She'll be okay. Just give her some time.", Magda smiled, laying her arm around my shoulders as she guided me towards the exit.

,,Does P know I'm here?" I looked up at her, dragging my suitcase along.

,,Nope, it's a surprise.", she answered, looking down at me as I nodded.

,,Is she alright?" We got out to the parking lot, walking over to where she had parked.

,,Yes, she's alright. A little stressed out and tired, but alright.", Magda squeezed my upper arm.