Imperfection

t w e n t y n i n e

There's things I wanna say to you,

but I'll just let you live

________________

Just a couple of days later I found myself on a plane from London to Barcelona with Georgia and Niahm. In Barcelona we would meet Jessie, who had spent the last week with her family in Canada, Alessia and Ella who were taking a different plane from Manchester and Ona, who had already been in Barcelona as she had visited some of her national teammates. Sadly Ellie had suffered an injury some days prior, so she was still kept in a hospital bed.

"Aurie!" Niamh shook me out of my thoughts excitedly and I took out one of my headphones.

"Hmm?"

"We're landing!", she smiled. I turned my head over to where Georgia was seated. She seemed happy, a gentle smile was playing on her lips. Just a few minutes later we had to grab our stuff and exit the plane. I had always felt at my best when the weather was good, everything just seemed so much more enjoyable. I didn't realise how till now, my summer had been dominated only by my thoughts. They were so consuming somehow. Like my mind just wouldn't quiet down. I felt like sometimes they wouldn't leave space for anything else. And I couldn't focus on anything else either.

"Come on, Aurie! Get going!", Niamh screamed, bringing me out of my thoughts once again. And suddenly I felt the rough wind blowing through my hair and the loud noises of the aircraft in my ears. A feeling of euphoria and excitement took over me and I quickly followed all those other people down the final steps till the ground.

"Where do we have to go?", I asked, still not really being used to flying on my own.

"This way:", Georgia smiled and put her hand on my lower back to guide me in the right direction. We made our way inside the big building and into the entrance hall, after getting our baggage. It wasn't long until I had spotted Ona. Her long, light brown hair was up in a messy bun and I could see all the tattoos that decorated her arms, as she was wearing very exposing clothes, a short top and hotpants. Not many people that I knew would wear that kind of clothing in public, but on the other hand we were in Spain now and the temperature was higher. I couldn't blame her since I was already sweating and if I was being honest to myself, she was looking absolutely breathtaking. Also, when I gazed at any other young girl at the airport, I realised almost everyone was wearing very few clothes.

It was slightly awkward. Approaching her, I mean. We didn't know each other, after all she came here as accompaniment for Alessia and Ella, but luckily, Georgia and Niamh were both very outgoing people.

„Hi Ona! I'm Georgia, it's great to meet you!", Georgia exclaimed and was instantly met with a welcoming hug from the young Spaniard.

„I'm happy to meet you too!", Ona smiled with a thick Spanish accent, before turning to Niamh next.

„Hey! I'm so excited!", Niamh grinned and Ona nodded.

And then she turned to me. I was feeling so anxious that she would be all mean to me once again, I had worried about it ever since our last encounter on the field. And the one before that.

„Hola.", she said quietly. Almost like it was a sin to talk to me. But there was a small, barely visible smile playing on her lips. So I was absolutely satisfied.

„Hola.", I replied shyly when she hugged me, slightly more hesitant than the way she had hugged G and Niamh, but once again, I was satisfied. She smelled like vanilla shampoo and expensive perfume, mixed with sunscreen and when she pulled away again, I noticed hundreds of freckles all over face. Soon though we made our way outside and to Ona's car. She'd drive us to the holiday house, that belonged to her family, and where we'd meet the others.

As we drove through Barcelona I watched everything that we passed by closely, it was a beautiful city; so alive and friendly. People seemed so positive, there were small shops and markets everywhere and palm trees. Everything seemed so joyful somehow.

I kept quiet during the ride, while the other three were having light conversation. I was once again kept with my own thoughts, just like always. I didn't know it any other way. It was like I felt everything so much deeper, like I was so much more aware of things than other people. But well, maybe I was just being dramatic.

What I did notice though, was how Ona was not as extroverted as I had imagined her to be. She didn't seem to be anxious at all, rather calm, almost uninterested. I asked myself, as I stared at her reflection in the car's small mirror, if she was feeling so many things at once as well, or if that was just me. If my brain was simply working differently. I really wanted to know how she felt somehow, but then again, I wanted to know how every person that I knew felt. About me, football, themselves.

The best thing about this was, that if I would ask them all, I would get a different answer every single time. And every answer would be able to change my perspective on them, myself and everyone else. Wasn't that fascinating? Sadly though, I could only ever imagine their answers.

Later that day I found myself on the veranda, laying in the hot Spanish sun, when suddenly I heard someone stepping outside as well.

„You have to put sunscreen on, otherwise your skin will burn.", she said in her thick accent. I held up my hand so I could see her face against the sun. She was glowing, her expression so incredibly soft, almost loving. Even though she wasn't smiling. It was so confusing, I couldn't decide wether she liked me or not. Or if maybe, she was only being nice. She put a bottle of sunscreen down beside me and I watched her carefully, when suddenly we heard a car's door open and Niamh beginning to scream.

„JESSIE!"

Slowly everyone arrived at the house and we could order dinner, spending the evening all together at the veranda and getting to know each other. Ona suddenly didn't seem very interested in me anymore, only talking to the people she really knew and sometimes someone else as well, but never to me. The words she had said before would be the only ones for the next ten hours. I would've answered her, if I would've known.

***
Bye babes, slay the day

lena