Halloween-1

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Sam walked to her desk narrowly dodging the two perps dressed in half horse costume as they were kicking each other. Amy was quick to get aside at Terry's desk as she apologized for the sudden hit.

"Sorry, sarge. Ugh, Halloween is the worst. Everyone's drunk, wearing a mask, and carrying a fake gun. Plus all the girls think they have to dress sexy." she complained to Jake as she walked over to her desk.

"I know, that is the worst. Please make them stop." he said sarcastically and Sam stifled a laugh.

"I passed a slutty tree on the way here. Who wants to have sex with a tree?" Amy asked wearingly.

"Was it a maple?" Scully asked shamelessly making Sam look at him weirdly as she stood next to Nick's desk looking for one of the case files they were solving together. Jake repeated the older detective's question making Amy groan and leave.

Sam saw Boyle walk into the bullpen dressed in a costume wearing chef's clothes and a poorly made red hair wig with a wooden spoon in his hand. 

"Buon giorno, buon giorno. Pretty cool 'stume, huh?" he said to Jake.

"'Stume?" Sam asked him confused. "Short for costume." the man answered.

""Ah. All right, let me guess. You are dumpy Chuck Norris." Jake teased. "No."

"Dumpy Ron Weasley." Rosa guessed playing along. "No."

"You guys, stop it. He put thought into his costume, and he is obviously Miranda from sex and the City." Terry said.

"Guys, I'm Mario Batali! "Molto Mario"? Celebrity chef? Ginger Prince of little Italy?" he said frustratingly.

"Is he also a homeless troll doll? 'Cause you look like a homeless troll doll." Sam said as she sipped from her coffee mug making Charles give her a 'Are you kidding me?' look.

"Hey, sweet Batali costume, dude." a perp said who had walked in along with Nick as the latter held him by the cuffs.

"Thank you! There's a man with impeccable taste." Charles cheered on.

"He bit a guy's butt off at a W.N.B.A. game. Eric Stoltz from Mask." Nick said and Charles just gave him a deadpanned look.

"I'll take it." he said finally giving up while Jake just nodded.

※※※

"I hope you're all well rested. It's gonna be a busy night." Terry said to the squad as they sat in the briefing room.

"The holding cell's completely full. Sam and I keep having to separate Hillary Clinton and Kim Jong-Un." Jake said.

"We need two undercovers at the DeKalb street warehouse party. Boyle, you're already in costume as, uh, Joy Behar?" Holt said making Charles fume at it.

"I'm Mario Batali." he said through his gritted teeth. Poor guy.

"Okay. And, uh, Santiago, you go with him." Holt announced making Amy sigh in defeat.

"Santiago, I know that you hate Halloween, but stick with me, and I promise you, you will love it." Charles said trying to get her comfortable with the concept.

"Can you magically make everyone kind, sober, and fully dressed?" Amy asked in return causing something to light up in Jake's head.

""Kind, sober, and fully dressed." Good news, everyone, we found the name of Santiago's s*x tape." he said and everyone laughed as Amy gave him death glares.

※※※

Sam and Jake walked in with a perp and put him into the holding cell together. "Well, ring it up, nerds. I just arrested my first Halloween idiot of the season. He was trying to rob a bank but had a little trouble with the getaway." Jake said

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