Sincerely October

Greek proverbs

A collection of poems inspired by translated Greek sayings.

Man is the measure of all things
The human condition leads many to feel that we are the only one, that I am the only one that is like this, but the truth states otherwise.
We are all divinely connected, no one is unaffected by the love of a human being.
My favorite books were once daydreams of another, my most played songs are about someone's heart aching in the same ways mine does, my favorite poems were once thoughts of someone I've never met.
In every way I compare myself I am comparing myself to another human being.
What is it like to be you? How can I be like you?
You are like a light in my life, but we are both human beings doing our best, that's all it is really.
Despite the mess it's all we want, as the human race all we want is each other.

Horror and fear
I wish there were words to capture this, I wish there was a word for "I love you but you're killing me."
I wish there was a word for "I love you but I have to go."
I had to go. You know that. You tore me apart, you changed me in ways I cannot verbalize.
I miss you. I loved you more than I'll ever admit, and far more than I should.
I still dream about you every night. I close my eyes and I see the drugs. The impact you have left in my mind is beyond measure.
Everywhere I go I am reminded of you, because we went everywhere together.
This is where I used to make the purchase. I used to stash my stuff here. I used to get drunk in this bathroom. I used to steal from here.
It's everywhere, all around, our relationship was expansive, you were everything to me.
I was willing to throw away everything for you, now I am left to pick up the pieces.

Death is no different than life
I sit at the graveyard wondering, I have so many questions without answers, and I realize that maybe that is the answer, maybe I'm not supposed to know, maybe that's the beauty of it.
I think part of what makes life beautiful is the unknown. What happens when you close your eyes for the last time? Is there any reason for it or are we a lucky anomaly? Is there a god of some sort? Does God live in the sky like they say he does?
I think the mystery is part of the painting, it's part of life, wondering what happens when there's nothing left to see.
Would life be as valuable as it is if we knew what happens when we close our eyes for the last time? If I knew what happened with certainty I don't think living would be the lovely mosaic it is.
If I knew what god looked like I wouldn't spend as much time thinking about him. If you know God for certain, are you really faithful? If you believe something because you know it to be true are you listening to your heart or to your eyes?
A fundamental part of the human condition is living with the unknowable.

Live hidden
I am forever torn between wanting to be seen and not wanting to be judged, I think everyone who's human has felt this same way.
If you can't see my scars you can't judge them. If you are never invited into my house of a mind you will never laugh at the dying house plants.
It's safer that way, you cannot comment on stories you've never read, but it's not that simple.
When no one knows everything about you it is easy to find yourself sensing a wall between you and the person you are speaking with.
They don't know you, and they can't love what they don't know. Maybe they think they see the full painting made of every brush stroke that is you, maybe they know about the canvases you keep under your bed, but being loved without being seen is a honey that is sweet but will never fill you.
It is joyful to have people to pick flowers and swim in the lake with, but who will be there when you don't let them in?
Who will hold you in the right way when you cannot figure this one out? Who will help you through the rainy nights when they don't know it's raining?
I do not want to be judged for being the way I am, but I also want someone to love me for the way I am.

He who saves himself may be saved
Not a person on this planet can pull the drugs from my hands if I don't let them.
I have to want it, I have to want it badly.
No one is going to save me now, I'm not in need of saving.
Not a single soul can do this for me, I have the world in the palm of my hand, and it is my choice if I let grains of my life slip through my fingers.
So what will you do?
Will you throw it away? Will you burn every bridge until the drugs kill you?
Will you pick up the pieces and put them together with gold? Will you be better in a way that matters?
The choice is yours.

Ever seeking the truth
No matter how wretched and ugly the truth is, it will be seen.
I tried to hide from what I knew to be true, I tried to forget about it, but it was like hiding in a house of my own creation, I knew where I tucked myself away.
I thought that maybe every time something reminded me of it and I was able to push it out of my mind I was a day closer to the day it was pushed out of my mind forever.
But I wanted to live and bathe in the truth, everyone does, I wanted to live honestly, everyone does.
The truth will grow like a weed you cannot pull from its roots, it will climb the walls of your house and kill your flowers if you refuse to acknowledge it.
So I made space for reality, I carved myself a hole into a tree and I sat inside the trunk trying to make sense of things.
It's not as bad as I thought it was.
Living with an uncomfortable truth is better than living in a warm lie.