A miscellaneous/mixed chapter.
Crazy
The more time that passes the more pervasive they become, I start to wonder if I'm losing my already faint grip on what's real and what's not.
I used to be better about it.
I used to know when I was disconnected but sometimes I realize I've reacted to something that was never there, that I am trembling in fear before I realize that it's not real.
I don't want to be this type of person, the type of person that is clearly and visibly "not really here," the type of person who is widely regarded as lost and astray from what everyone else experiences.
I can't trust my eyes or my ears, and maybe I just have to get used to this, maybe this is something I have to accept.
It is all so unsettling, I can't think straight, I can't put my words together, everything gets jumbled and confused.
I feel consumed by the hallucinations, I feel that sometimes my disconnect is so vast that I am no longer standing with my feet on the ground, I'm somewhere else entirely.
Capturing it
Tell me about how it feels to be ripped into pieces, tell me how you found your happiness after you thought you lost it, tell me what consumes your mind, tell me what's eating at you, tell me about the life you always wanted.
If I want my writing to be anything I want it to be honest, an honest portrayal of what it is like to be me right now.
I have written poems about things I regarded to be true that I later realized couldn't be further from it, but in that moment I believed it and that is all I aim to capture.
An honest poem is a good poem, if I meant it when I wrote it then it's a part of something bigger.
Jude and Liam
I have been writing stories for a long while, always looking for another perspective to capture.
I wrote stories about secret schools and witchcraft, I've written stories about poetry clubs and fathers telling their daughters about the life they've lived.
There is something beautiful about turning my daydreams into paragraphs, then I can go anywhere and be anyone.
I tell stories in my poetry, taking a photo of today, capturing the emotions behind it all, through hurt and healing.
Today I am writing another story, I will detail anniversaries, Sundays, and schizophrenia. Today I will write about Jude and Liam.
YOU ARE READING
Sincerely October
PoetryThis poetry book was written having multiple narratives, lots of happiness and healing, lots of aching and low points. I choose the title "sincerely October" to capture being authentic.
