Sincerely October

Smitten

A happy chapter.

Little life
I'm starting to love my little life.
I love seeing my friends on Saturday's, I love writing something that isn't extraordinary, and I love drinking coffee at my desk.
It's so simple, isn't it?
I don't have to be a success story to be happy.
There's no rule book to it, I can be anyone I want to be, and today I want to live a quiet life.
I don't need to feel elated and be otherworldly, I don't need to reach such great heights, I am satisfied with a simple way of living.
I don't have to achieve something grand. I don't have to live fast and die young. I don't have to fill my body with drugs for the hell of it. I can do anything I want to.
There's nothing to wait for, it's already here.
I am loved, and that's what I want. We can spend the rest of our lives enjoying eachothers company. I can spend my days with you and spend my lights making art and writing poetry that few people will see.

How could I not?
It seemed so impossible to swallow for such a long time.
How could I ever admit this? How could anyone love someone like me? How could I ever make sense of it all?
The truth of the matter is heartbreaking, but the state of today is not.
Things happened, a lot of pain lives in my childhood, but this isn't my fault and this isn't going to kill me.
Things became tangled and broken along the way, but this is what kept me alive, this is what made my life livable, who am I to blame the child I once was for the horrors she had forever upon her.
How could I ever tell her that she was wrong? I could never look at her and believe that she was at fault, because she wasn't.
She was scared and confused. That's all it is really. It is a twisted path but it all returns to that.
How could I ever blame her?