Light Amidst the Chaos

Ch 41

When I tell you the last almost 2 years of my life have been TRYING. so sorry for the long as fuck absence, i have issues.

"Damian? What're you doing up so late?"

"I could ask you the same, Fischer."

Damian and Conner arrived back about two weeks ago without Clark and Diana. They were able to find traces of mutagen embedded in some rocks in an underground cave deep in the appalachian mountains. Clark took a couple samples to take back to Metropolis for further research. Conner brought some back to the mansion where Bruce could do some research of his own with the help of Barry. The samples would take a few weeks to come back as anything given the new discovery and everything involved. Right now was just a waiting game.

Jason was out on a late night patrol with Dick. Ever since we were attacked Bruce has insisted on a patrol every other night, that was apparently when I was in a coma, so for three weeks non-stop patroling has been happening. Jason was stubborn and didn't like to be down for long so he volunteered to go with Dick on his patrol. I knew he was getting stir crazy and stir crazy Jason is an intolerable Jason, and even Bruce didn't want to deal with him, so he was cleared from bedrest.

I took Gar's advice and took a day or two to process what had happened after he found me talking to my father's grave. I watched every movie Maverick wanted and played the same games with him over and over. I needed that one on one time with him to feel better and to remind myself why I'm doing what I'm doing. It's not for me, it's for him, and I hate that I nearly lost sight of that.

It was about 2 am, the mansion was quiet with the only sound being the storm outside. Maverick was sound asleep with Gar in Gar's room with Krypto asleep outside the door. It had become the little guy's new thing. Gar told me it started when I was in a coma and Maverick now just likes to sleep with him. I don't mind it because I know Gar will keep an eye on him. Not that everyone else doesn't because he's wormed his way into everyone's hearts, Damian included, but Gar was definitely Maverick's buddy.

"I woke up to the sound of the thunder and couldn't fall back asleep." I admitted, sitting next to him on the couch. He had turned it so it was facing the window. "You?"

Damian took a sip from the liquid in his cup he was holding. "I find peace in watching thunderstorms." He set his cup back down on the coffee table next to the couch.

I hummed and turned my body to face his. His face was relaxed but his eyes appeared slightly sad. "You're a good kid, you know that?"

He scoffed while rolling his eyes. "Are we gonna braid eachother's hair next?"

"I mean it, Damian." I studied his face for a second, his eyes were still fixated on the storm outside. "I know I've told you that before but I want you to know I really mean it." I turned my attention back outside. "I know this hasn't been easy for you."

"Who says it hasn't been easy?" He asked, a dull tone in his voice. "All part of the job, doesn't bother me any."

I raised an eyebrow and looked at him. His face said he was bored but his eyes said he was sad and definitely bothered. He was a lot like Bruce in the matter of his eyes tell all. Bruce was more emotional than Damian could ever be, but in moments like this when it's just him, Damian let small parts of himself show.

I slowly set my hand on top of his. "You're allowed to let it bother you. She's your mother and she's hurting you, I can tell." I gently ran my thumb over the back of his hand. "You're also allowed to keep loving her, Damian." I gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "I see the way you look at the TV everytime her face is shown and I see how your attitude shifts when you hear her name. We love people we can't change and those are the people who will always hurt us the most. The only upside to that is you can choose what to do with the pain because it's all you have left to control."