Where Iris Bloom

Ch 10. Almost

Walking through these halls has brought back a lot of memories that I have been pushing at the very back of my mind. Everyone walking around this hospital has their own sad story or might even worse, tragic story. It took me years before I can even manage to take a step inside of this institution. Everything in here reminds me of that painful night and I made a pact with myself that I'll never be setting foot in this hospital.

But here I am, sitting inside on one of the clinics. In front of me is a girl that's been happily munching on the food I brought her.

"Are you sure you don't wanna eat?" She looked up at me and pointed on the food in front of us.

I shook my head. "I just ate. I just thought you won't be going to Love, Nana coz you know I'm not there so I thought I'm gonna bring you food."

She blushed and tried to hide it. She has this small dance whenever she likes the food. She can't hide her excitement to dig in and when she really likes the taste, her eyes light up like a 5 year old kid.

God, the uncanny feeling of watching Rebecca eat.

I closed my eyes tightly with the surge of memory that flooded me. I pushed away the thought and tried to focus on Iris.

"Are you there?" She asked kind of worried. Just then I realized I zoned out.

"Sorry, I was just thinking of something." I apologized and sat straight hoping to keep up a straight facade.

She noticed my discomfort which made her stop from devouring her food. "You okay? I was just asking if you wanna hangout after my working hours." She was gazing at me with serious face but the gentleness is still visible.

It's always there.

"Yeah sure. I'm down for that." By this time, my heart started to hammer my chest that it hurts.

Not here, please. Hold yourself together.

Anxiety.

The feeling of shiver creeping in and being roasted are hitting me all at once. There's this ache all over my body and I feel my sweat starting to trickle down my face.

The memory of her, the pain of being here at this place after a lengthy time, the things she do that Rebecca does. It's hitting me all at once.

"That's it, breathe in." I heard her say and felt her hand on my face. "Breathe out." She was on her knees looking at me anxiously. She is staring at my pools with her both hands on my face whilst I'm having difficulty to swallow the lump on my throat.

"I'm here. You're okay. I'm not going anywhere." Then just like that, I felt how close she was. I felt her fingers gently caressing my face. The care in her eyes penetrated my walls effortlessly. There's this inexplicable comfort she's emanating making the pain vanish little by little.

I felt her fingers brushing away the tears that I didn't know was free falling on my cheeks. "I got you, bumbum." She smiled at me meekly without having the slightest idea that she's slowly denuding my tarnished soul.

How do you do that? You're making me feel things you're not even aware of.

"Fuck." I mumbled and tried to veer on the other side to hide my embarrassment. How did I let myself crumble while I'm outside of my room. This had never happened before.

"Hey, it's just me. No need to hide." She held me in place and got ahold of my gaze effortlessly . It's like everything she says, my body obeys.

Oh god, what is she doing to me.

I'm sorry Becca.

My eyes shut automatically when I felt her chest on my face. An instant relief washed over me when I felt her arms wrapped around me. Her scent calmed the storm in me and I never thought someone could ever do that ever again. I got so used to dealing with my demons alone for several years. Those countless hours ridiculing myself, the endless nights that I have to endure trying to find comfort within me just to get a couple of hours of sleep.

I sighed and relaxed on her hug. This feels good. This is peace.

"Bumbum okay now?" She peeked at me with a comforting smile that got through me.

I just nodded and smile in return.

I wanna give in to this feeling. I wanna wallow on the peace that I haven't felt for so long. I wanna let go of the pain and burden I have been carrying around. I wanna be free.

But then again, guilt is clutching on my back. I can't bear getting the freedom that Iris has to offer. Im not even sure if I deserve to be happy again.

It's all getting too much again. I'm up on my head once more.

I can't.

IRIS' POV

Days have past after Kim's melt down. It got me so scared when she started to zone out and I saw how her anxiety betrayed her. The discomfort and pain on her eyes was so heart breaking. It feels like she's been dealing a lot of trauma and has been running away from it.

She hasn't been answering any of my calls and text. I tried to go and look for her at Love, Nana but with no luck. I refrained myself going to her place coz she might feel that I am invading her personal space.

If it's time and space that she needs, I will give it to her. I just hope that she knows I am here when she needs someone to tame her demons.

I can't forget the look in her eyes. The sadness was inexplicable. When tears started to roll down her cheeks, my heart shattered to pieces. It's like a jab straight to my gut with every silent sob.

I wonder what kind of heartbreak has she gone through. What made her so broken. The thought of her going back to her old pattern, whatever it was, to deal with the pain did not sit right on me. I have seen people regress when dealing with their traumas and it's the scariest because lonely souls are exceptional in suppressing how they feel until it's no longer bearable and succumb to the easiest way out.

I know for a fact that she's been hiding from everyone but what I am hoping for is she'll be, somehow, alright when we meet again.

I miss her.

I hope you miss me too, bumbum.

_____________________________________

A/N: so this update maybe a lil short but it's still UD, right? 😅
Don't forget to hit the vote 😜 let me know your thoughts 🤔

Night night bbs.