Where Iris Bloom

Ch. 32 Divulgence

The rest of the week was a blur. After the night they spent at the lake house, that was the last time Iris have felt Kim. She never thought that the last song she sang when she asked her to sing her to sleep was the last connection they'll have for a while. That night where she looked so lost and fragile, her eyes that held agony and vulnerability, it's all gone. Iris can't see right through her anymore. Everything was replaced with stark facade, a very dark and tall wall preventing Iris to get through her.

The moment they arrived and she set foot at the funeral home for her Nana's service was the moment Iris totally lost Kim. She's no longer there, Iris can't feel any emotion lingering in her eyes. Those orbs that held so much affection despite of sadness on it's surface was nowhere to be found. She has detached herself from reality in hopes of getting rid of the pain and the taunting emptiness of losing her hero.

It hurt Iris to the bones seeing her suffer from inside and she can't get inside of her closed exterior because she won't let anyone in. She's trapped herself and exponentially combusting everything until the pit in her universe has turned into a black hole. Every progress that she has made over the past years after losing Becca have now been sucked into that agape black hole putting her in a place that's more bleak and miserable where she won't let anyone touch her.

Her grief and sorrow was hanging on her sleeves as she bleeds on people who was willing to help her to get out of that dark trance. Iris was desperately holding into the dim hope of Kim finding the right path back into the light, back in her arms where she was waiting patiently.

At the funeral, Iris would held Kim's hand, though the gesture falls into dead space, remains unreciprocated and unrecognized but she never took it against the grieving woman. She was willing to stay and give all the blazing flame of her love to melt the chains that held Kim's heart captive even when it meant leaving nothing for herself.

While Iris was pouring all the attention, affection and love that Kim needs, she falls into the oblivion of noticing that she's slowly losing herself while piecing together the jewels Kim had in her, jading her own, tarnishing that bright sunshine she had always possessed.

Every day during the wake of her Nana, Kim would disappear for hours and be back in front of the coffin with traces of grass or dried leaves hanging in her clothes indicating she has been into that familiar grave she's been harbouring comfort from. Iris would swallow the pain on that sight that has become a routine for days now. She would sigh just to restart her system and sit close to the older woman pretending she doesn't feel the unintentional pain she's inflicting her.

She felt so disregarded staying by the older woman's side, yet Kim still chooses to seek comfort from her departed ex. During those times, she sported a blind eye and continued to offer her utmost care and support despite of them being unrequited.

"You okay?" Genevieve bid her out from her deep thinking as the older woman sat beside her in the pantry of the funeral service.

Iris took a deep breath and sighed like she's trying to unload the unwanted feeling lurking beneath her chest. "Can I ask you something?" Genevieve stared intently into her despondent eyes that was very lively the first time they met.

"Sure." She nodded and waited patiently as Iris gathered her coherent thoughts.

"What was she like? Becca." Iris swallowed after tasting the pungent sting of finally mentioning the words she's been meaning to ask. Genevieve on the other hand didn't expect that Iris had the knowledge about the departed woman.

Unbeknownst to the two women talking, Kim heard Iris asked those words and immediately fled the place not wanting to hear what her sister has to say.

She's got different understanding of why would Iris want to know anything about her beloved Becca. With Kim's unhinged emotions, she has a different interpretation of what Iris is up to.

Genevieve smiled sadly. "Are you sure you wanna know?" She replied, gauging the capability of the younger woman's heart but Iris was a tough one, she nodded and readied herself for whatever that's about to come on her way to hit her like a bus.

"Well for one, she's what Kim has ever needed." Those words stabbed her heart like a double bladed sword. "She brought out the sunshine my sister doesn't even know she had in her. She basically made Kim the happiest with her crazy antics and whatnot. She was my sister's world that's why she was so devastated that night when our father and Becca died. She didn't know where to go. So, I guess you already have a picture of where my sister is coming from?" Genevieve sighed in desperation unable to figure out of how will she save her sister from this heartbreak for the second time.

"I do. But I have all my faith in her that she'll get through this. I'm not going anywhere, Viv. I will be the home she'll be going home to when she's conquered all her battles." Iris doesn't have it in her heart to compete against whatever they had, in fact, all she wanted to do was to save and love Kim on her own way. The younger woman do not have any of the slightest ill-intentions to fill in the shoes of Becca, nor to compete with the memories the two have created thinking it has been their chapter. She would never do such coz she knows how Kim treasures all of the trinkets and little things they had.

"You know, the moment that I first met you when she brought you to the house, I knew you have somehow succeeded in freeing her of her chains or at least say that you had made her take a step forward away from the guilt that has been caging her for years. Please be patient with her, Iris. She can be very stubborn and cold but behind that stupor, I know deep down still lies the kid that I have met before. The kid that's hungry for love and care but doesn't want anyone to see." Viv stated sadly. It just so sad that they're having this conversation amidst the passing of their beloved Nana.

Unperceived to any notions, it was actually a brewing storm that will taunt Iris to break and crumble. What seemed to be calm and unbothered water is a discreet whirlpool that will make every tables turn. Her sincere and genuine love towards the older woman will be perceived otherwise, crushing all the rays of sunshine she possess in her big loving heart.