Where Iris Bloom

Ch 20. HBD

KIM'S POV

"Hello, my love. I'm sorry it took a while for me to come back. I brought you your favorite white roses and your favorite cake." I sat down on the grass and placed the cake and flowers on her tombstone. "Happy birthday, love." I smiled while lighting up the candle.

It has been my tradition to bring her favorite flowers and cake on her birthday and wherever I am, I make sure to clear my schedule and make time for this date.

As I look around the vast meadow where the departed tombstones sits peacefully, I never imagined to find tranquility in this place where grief hangs low. It's something that I can't explain no matter how I try. The first months that I've been coming here, all that I carry around with me is pure grief and I don't remember the time when I started to gather serenity but it just eventually happened.

"If only you're here, we probably be lounging by the beach front somewhere in Bali over couple glasses of mai tai. I remember when we we're planning to fly there for your birthday and you were so excited. I remember the look on your face when I told you that it would be a conflict of schedule because of our company's launching but you still managed to not make me feel guilty despite of the fact that you have sacrificed that one special day in your life over my success. I never thought that was the last chance to bring you there. Had I really known." I smiled ruefully feeling the familiar regret seep in.

"Years have passed but the pain of not having you here with me sits the same. I miss the feeling of having you in my arms. I miss how your lips feels next to mine. I miss you, my Becca. I'm missing you so much." Just like all of the occasions that I have been here, the wind gushed just as my tears started to fall. It's like her way of drying my tears from the other side.

I sighed with the attempt to lighten the burden I'm feeling inside.

"Would you be mad if I tell you that I kissed Iris? Would you be angry if I tell you that it felt good? Would you hate me if I say I'm starting to feel something for her? I'm so lost right now, my Becca." I confessed though I know there would no be response in return.

"It seems so wrong having this kind of feeling towards someone else that is not you." I pulled my knees close to my chest as I felt the need to be hugged.

Fuck.

I closed my eyes scolding myself internally as the thought of Iris suddenly infiltrated my mind. She's been on my mind lately and there's no denying that her presence had kept me sane.

I miss Iris.

"I'm sorry, my love." I mumbled with eyes closed and felt the wind gushing once more like telling me it's okay.

I stayed for few more minutes just wallowing on the silence and peace this place has. I never thought that this wouldn't only be a resting place for the departed but also for the living.

"I'll be off now, my love. Happy birthday in heaven, my angel. See you in another lifetime." I get up on my feet with only one person in my mind.

Iris.