Where Iris Bloom

Ch. 30 The Void

"Nana's gone." Those words kept resonating in her head bringing a wrenching pain through Kim's heart. She hasn't been able to grasp the idea of loss yet but the pain keeps on hitting her like a wrecking ball swinging through on a wall.

The void.

It has silently crawled through the cracks of her being and has made it's way to her heart making her go back to where she was when she lost Becca. Stark and bleak. Back into that dark place that Iris has pulled her out from. She's sinking gradually without any intentions of getting out of it. The vacancy in her eyes are back and it's taunting anyone who stares on them but this time, it's more scarier.

She gripped on the steering wheel like she's gripping for her sanity. The worse part is that, she wanted to cry but tears won't fall. She felt so numb and cold.

Just then and there, she felt the need to go to that one person who she seeks comfort from. That one person who truly brings peace and calmness in her soul. She needs to let it all out though she knows she'll never hear back any words from her heartache.

It was already over midnight when she reached that familiar place she has been so accustomed to. She left the headlights of the car to shed light on her way which is ironically the total opposite of what's happening to her right now. Because as of the moment, she's trudging down the dark alley where she used to roam around.

The only sound that can be heard around the place was the roaring engine of her car and the croaking sound of crickets accompanied by the rustling leaves from the trees around.

She stopped in front of the faded tombstone etched on it was the name she has known for eternity and fell on her knees finally feeling the weight of the dreadful news. Her shoulders slumped, it started to shake uncontrollably as her tears run down freely. Her weeping cries were very heavy to listen to.

"She's gone. My Nana's gone, Bec." She whimpered as she lie down on the grass hugging her knees to her chest. Wishing it's just a figment of her imagination, she cried harder hoping she'll wake up from a bad dream.

"The only person who understands and cares for me has left me." She whispered above her breath totally leaving Mavy's existence into oblivion. "Wala na, I lost my hero." Her sobs we're getting louder and louder. She's lost the ability to console herself and she's just there lying in the middle of the cemetery letting it all out.

"You left me," her tears kept on racing down her face. "But Nana was there making it a little bearable. Pano na ko?"

She clutched on her chest coz it felt like her heart is gonna burst into pieces.

"Iniwan niyo na akong lahat. Pano na ko?" She cried harder making her ear feels like there's a drum beating inside. Asking the same thing over and over.

"Bakit lahat ng mahal ko iniiwan ako?" She whispered as her lips started to feel thicker and her eyes getting puffy.

She stayed that way for God knows how long. She's been crying like there's no end. She's pouring out the pain of loss all by herself refusing to let anyone in.

She remembered how the old lady took care of her when no one else was around. She became her mother and father. She looked up to the old lady and she's all that mattered. She did her very best to give back all the hardships of her Nana and she somehow succeeded. All those times where she would stay awake at night listening to the old tales of her Nana until she falls asleep, it's all coming back doubling the pain she's been feeling.

Memories are making it difficult for her to process the grief.

She remembers when they have nothing but each other. The nights when they would imagine they are eating a sumptuous dinner when in reality, it's just a fried fish from yesterday's meal. The times when they would have to ran into safety when the rains starts to pour down.