Love Syndrome - Rewritten

Chapter 1: The Backstory Part 3

Gear:

"I know I'm a terrible person." Gear softly says to himself, as he sits on the edge of his bed, his head in his hands.

It was around 4am. It had been a long day of drinking, partying, and sex. He felt so tired, his eyes barely staying open, but he knew that if he tried to sleep, he wouldn't be able to. He looks over his shoulder at the slim figure sleeping under the covers. He didn't even know the girl's name but she was beautiful and that was all he cared about. Plus the sex had been great.

She had approached him while him and his friends were out, so they invited her and her friends to join them. He decided, if she was going to take the initiative, he might as well reciprocate for some satisfaction and stress relief.

She said some stuff about really liking him and his personality, but he knew it was bullshit. He had barely spoken a word to the girl, or to anyone for that matter, except for his close friends. When he was bored of the party, Gear leaned over to speak in the woman's ear, telling her that if she wanted, they could go somewhere more private. What happened next is obvious.

When they had finished and cleaned up, he told her to sleep first and that he just had to make an important phone call. He didn't know why, but for some reason today, seeing his brother's eyes that were shining for once, with excitement and happiness, despite the disgusted look on his face, had reminded him of how lonely his brother must have felt at their house. The thought overwhelmed him with guilt but also anger. It wasn't his fault that he was like this. He couldn't help it.

Nonetheless, his thoughts kept him wide awake, despite not sleeping multiple nights in a row now. His emotional spiral kept going further and further down.

But he couldn't help it. He hated being anywhere near this place when his friends weren't with him because it only reminded him of his pathetic parents and their pathetic excuses as for why they couldn't come back. He hated being around this place because it reminded him of everything in his life that would soon be his. He hated how he had no control over his future. It's not that he was against working for his parents and their company, and eventually taking over, but it was the fact that he had no choice in it that made his resentment build to what it was today, added to the fact that his parents weren't even around because of the business that would eventually become his. He knew, he had no chance at a social or romantic life once he got into the business, seeing how his parents never had time to even call them.

Gear felt like the only way he could feel some sort of control over his life and rebel, was to drink and party and sleep around. They helped relax his body and forget his troubles. Anything that left him with a blank mind, he would happily do.

He knew it didn't make up for the way he treated his brother but his brother never tried to understand him either.

Gus was so small when their parents were actually around that he probably doesn't even realise how much they have changed. They used to be there with them every single day; they had meals together, got dropped off and picked up at school by their parents, and felt loved, felt happy, felt whole.

Then everyday turned to only weekends, which turned to only birthdays and special events, which turned to once a year...and finally turned to never.

This all happened so quick that Gear never got the chance to tell his parents he missed them. And once he hit his teenage years, he was glad they weren't around. That was...until he had to apply to universities and his parents called to tell him what to apply for and where to study. They said he would 100 percent get in because they knew some people, but Gear hated the fact that he was forced to walk down a path he never chose.

Gus was given all the freedom in the world. Gus could study whatever he wanted, go wherever he wanted, and with whoever he wanted. Gear was told to focus on his studies, stay away from girls, alcohol and drugs, and to stay away from the rebellious kids he called friends...that was how his parents saw his life.

This constant pressure and need to please led him to realise his parents weren't ever going to appreciate what he did, even when he did well.

So...he gave up.

He tried his best not to blame his brother, because he truly did nothing wrong. But it was the way Gus looked at him that drove him mad. How dare he look at him with disgust, when he has no idea of anything Gear has been through.

Despite the slight pain in his chest as he would talk to his brother, he kept trying to tell his brother that he was there for him...in his own way.

He wanted Gus to have some fun, to hang out with his friends, and not be so studious. But Gus only saw it as Gear being a bad influence.

Gear would never admit this to his friends Brick and Four, but they were the only people in his life, who he felt actually cared for him and were always there for him, because they were aware of Gear's past.

He would always be thankful for them.