Murder Most Unladylike Groupchat

148

*Time skip*

Chatting on 'How Hazel met her child's father'.

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: shit

I'mthebestpersonever 💖: where's the body?

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: no body

Alcoholisthebestmedicine 🍷: shit something's happened

Little sprout 🌱: but there's no body?

AminaEM 💍: Lavinia without a body and saying shit, that's worse

MrsArcady ❤️: what's wrong Lav

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: it's only just hit me that I'm getting married tomorrow

AminaEM 💍: are you excited

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: yes

Alcoholisthebestmedicine 🍷: then what's the problem?

I'mthebestpersonever 💖: I mean she is marrying George so that explains everything. If I found out that I was marrying George tomorrow I'd go "shit time to go and die"

Little sprout 🌱: don't be mean

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: I'm excited but I'm also bloody terrified

MrsArcady ❤️: don't worry Lav

AminaEM 💍: you will have an amazing day

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: I don't doubt that but I'm scared ngl

Alcoholisthebestmedicine 🍷: did Lavinia just admit to being scared

Little sprout 🌱: 😱😱😱😱😱

I'mthebestpersonever 💖: the sky is falling

AminaEM 💍: someone get the camera's out, this will be front page news

Alcoholisthebestmedicine 🍷: 📸📸📸

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: I hate you all

MrsArcady ❤️: leave the poor girl alone

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: correction I hate you all apart from Hazel

MrsArcady ❤️: I love you too Lav

I'mthebestpersonever 💖: what about meeee?

MrsArcady ❤️: Daisy, Alexander called you a needy twat

AminaEM 💍: he's not wrong

Little sprout 🌱: lmaoooo

Alcoholisthebestmedicine 🍷: 🤣🤣🤣

I'mthebestpersonever 💖: go fuck yourself

MrsArcady ❤️: ©️©️©️

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: hahaha

MrsArcady ❤️: that is copyright I'm afraid

I'mthebestpersonever 💖: go repeatedly shove a dildo into you vagina

Little sprout 🌱: ...

Alcoholisthebestmedicine 🍷: I'm dying 🤣

AminaEM 💍: I mean technically she didn't say it...

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: why would Hazel do that when she could fuck Alexander

MrsArcady ❤️: exactly if much rather fuck my husband

I'mthebestpersonever 💖: 🤮🤮🤮

Little sprout 🌱: ...okay

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: do you guys remember when we had that man in to talk about STDs and safe sex. We must have been year 9

AminaEM 💍: I wasn't there xoxo

Alcoholisthebestmedicine 🍷: omg yes

MrsArcady ❤️: that was hilarious

I'mthebestpersonever 💖: who was it that couldn't stop laughing when he said erect

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: me

Little sprout 🌱: of course it was

MrsArcady ❤️: I vividly remember he showed us how to put on a condom on a model penis

Alcoholisthebestmedicine 🍷: didn't he then go "it's not a dildo guys"

AminaEM 💍: lmaoooooo

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: I was dying

Little sprout 🌱: you guys are so dirty minded 🙄

I'mthebestpersonever 💖: and you only just noticed...

MrsArcady ❤️: someone then said "anything can be a dildo if you want it to be"

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: again that was me 😁

AminaEM 💍: 🤣🤣🤣🤣🙃

Little sprout 🌱: if course it was

Alcoholisthebestmedicine 🍷: one of the teachers was trying not to laugh as he put the condom on

I'mthebestpersonever 💖: oh yeahhhh, I can't remember what teacher it is but all I remember is that it's one with like 3 kids

AminaEM 💍: maybe he was laughing because he probably needed that demonstration before he forgot to use a condom

MrsArcady ❤️: LMAOOOOO 🤣🤣🤣

Little sprout 🌱: I can't with you guys 🤦🏻‍♀️

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: that was the funniest assembly ever

AminaEM 💍: I wish I was there

I'mthebestpersonever 💖: so do I 💖

AminaEM 💍: <3

-----

TheDefinatelyNotGayMukherhjee 🏳️‍🌈 and MrArcady 🧳 are chatting privately.

TheDefinatelyNotGayMukherhjee 🏳️‍🌈: I'm getting married tomorrow

MrArcady 🧳: wow that is shocking information

TheDefinatelyNotGayMukherhjee 🏳️‍🌈: 😒

MrArcady 🧳: how are you feeling?

TheDefinatelyNotGayMukherhjee 🏳️‍🌈: very excited and nervous 😬

MrArcady 🧳: that is understandable

TheDefinatelyNotGayMukherhjee 🏳️‍🌈: is it?

MrArcady 🧳: of course, it is a big day

TheDefinatelyNotGayMukherhjee 🏳️‍🌈: do you have any advice?

MrArcady 🧳: Don't fuck it up

TheDefinatelyNotGayMukherhjee 🏳️‍🌈: that was so inspiring 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

MrArcady 🧳: shall I take a bow

TheDefinatelyNotGayMukherhjee 🏳️‍🌈: you're a twat

MrArcady 🧳: so are you