"We just released our second album and it's number 1 on the Australia, New Zealand, U.S.A, & European iTunes charts. Dr.Alexis and Taylor are letting me go to the iHeartRadio album release party, but I have to take it easy. I need medical personal on standby. I'm more at risk now for blackouts, heartattacks, seizures, and strokes than ever before. And that honestly sucks. And secondly, you know what I hate the most about everything that has been going on in my life ? I now have these ugly ass scars across my abdomen and chest, they look so gross, I can't even look at myself shirtless in the mirror with out getting upset. Chemotherapy destroys your body more than cancer does alone. I should've listened in the first place and never tried cigarettes, than I wouldn't be in the boat i'm in right now. I'm not just in physical pain, I'm mentally in pain as well. I'm having a hell of hard time singing or playing bass, and thats really a sad thing for me to go through. The boys come over ever day for hours and hours at time, it's like they think I'm going to die or something. And I guarantee you that I'm not. Every time they look at me in the face I can see the pain in their eyes, they feel bad for me. Tomorrow is the iHeartRadio thing, and I'll make it my goal to meet fans, it'll make them happy and it'll make me happy. I need happiness in my life. No one will no what hell is like until you go through the shit i went through for the past few months, its not fun. I do have my days where I got to bed hoping that God won't wake me up the next day. I literally have nights where I'd hysterically cry myself to sleep and Mali would come running in and try and make me feel better. A few times I even tried to overdose on my meds but that doesn't work because I get monitored by somebody while I take them every single morning. Hey its 1am and I should get my rest I have to get up at 6am from some chemo and than I'm getting driven into Queensland for the iHeartRadio party. Every please pray that I don't screw up in front of those thousands of people, that will ruin me."
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Battlefield ( Calum Hood fanfic)
Fanfiction{completed } March 2015 - March 2016 Calum's illness exculpates into something nobody could have imagined. Can anyone save him before it's too late?
