80s Band Imagines

💚Slash/Saul #17- *Saying Goodbye

"I don't wanna leave."
Slash whimpered.

"I know, honey, but this is the last leg of the tour."
I said, running a soothing hand through his curls.

"But Alex is going to cry and you're gonna cry. And I don't want to be the reason you're both upset."
He sighed, snuggling closer and tightening the death grip he had on me.

"Saul, look at me."
I sighed.

"I can't watch her cry because I'm leaving. I can't watch it anymore."
Saul whispered, looking deeply into my eyes.

"Saul, honey, she understands that it's your job and-"

"But why should she have to understand that? It's not fair that all of her friends have daddies that are home every night. Dads that tuck their kids in and read them bedtime stories. And she can't relate because hers' is across the globe."
Saul ranted.

"It isn't fair to her, whether she realizes it or not."
He finished, a small tear escaping his eye.

"C'mere."
I cooed, letting him cuddle up to me, feeling his wavered breathing.

"I hate not being here. All I can think about is how you're home raising her without me. And it makes me sick."
He expressed, a few shaky breaths leaving his full lips.

"I'm not doing this alone all of the time, Saul. You've been here for everything. Her first steps, her first words, the late-night tantrums, the giggles, and everything in between. Yes, you've been gone a little more, but she's older now, Saul."
I reasoned, not wanting him to feel upset.

"But I'm missing out on her growing up. I'm missing her coming home and telling me about her finger paintings. Or that she learned her colors, maybe tomorrow she'll know what 3+2 is and I won't be here to pretend I don't know."
Slash rambled, more tears falling freely.

"Saul, honey, calm down."
I said softly, wiping the tears that fell with the pads of my thumbs.

"I can't help but feel like I'm picking the band and music over my family."
He said sadly.

"No, honey, you aren't. You're doing what you love and've dedicated your life to. It would be selfish of me to expect you to give that up. You were around while I was pregnant. You were right by my side when I had her. You've been here for the first 5 years of her life. These three months are gonna fly by."
I said, trying my best to reassure him.

"But it's three months that I'm missing out on."
He sighed.

"I know, but when she's older she isn't going to remember the three months you weren't here. She's going to remember the other nine that you were."
I reasoned, gently swiping my thumbs over the skin of his cheeks.

"Thank you."
He chuckled.

"Don't be so hard on yourself. And if you feel like this over tour, call me, honey. I'll happily repeat what I said, okay?"
I said, knowing these feelings might come back and start to snowball.

"Okay, it's just- I love you both so much. It's hard being away from you. I know you're used to it, but Alex isn't."
He sighed.

"I know, Saul. But you call at least once every three days, and when you can't there's always a good reason."
I reminded.

"I love you, so much."
Slash breathed out a chuckle.

"I love you too, Saul. It's gonna be okay. We'll miss you too, honey, but its only three months, right? We've done two years, and Alex just did five. We'll be fine, baby."
I said softly, kissing his cheek softly.

"I know. 'M just g'na miss you is all."
He said sheepishly, pulling me closer to him.

"I know, honey, we'll miss you too."