The Consul and The Cat

17- Enemies with Benefits

Smut in theory, not in practice.
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Chili Pepper opens the one window in the studio, then checks the results, "Awww shucks, it's a tie..."

Killer Kitty and The Consul have a glimmer of hope in their eyes, until she says, "Luckily our tiebreaker vote is on the way! Being delivered by none other than Amogus the seagull!"

She holds out her arm and a seagull lands on it. Amogus drops the rolled up note in her other hand. She reads it while Amogus flies back out.

She grins, "Well well well, a little birdie told me... you two will be reeeeaaadinnnggg... THE SMUTFIC!!!"

The Consul and Killer Kitty both collapse into their chairs, "NOOOOOOO!!!"

She closes the window while laughing, "I love it when it's smut first!"

The Consul sits up, "Wait, that means we end on a good note, right KK?"

Killer Kitty sinks further into his seat, "I have bad news for you, Consul..."

"What is it?"

"There's fanart after the fanfics..."

"It's all mostly wholesome, right..?"

"Consul, I have a memory wipe poison, and I am very sure you will want it."

"Oh no..."

Chili Pepper pulls up the fic, which is titled Consulkitty smut idk lol i was bored

Killer Kitty hits his hands on the table, "Is that FUCKING WATTPAD?!"

The Consul sits up, "Is that us on the food truck in the cover??"

Chili Pepper chuckles and opens Chapter 1. Killer Kitty screeches, "DO WE FUCK IN THE FOOD TRUCK?!"

"Only in chapter one! This is a collection of smutshots. They aren't very long, but there are a lot of them!" She scrolls through the chapter list. It is... too long.

Killer Kitty glares at The Consul, "You'd better not say the fucking squiggly line."

"I'm more worried about you. There's so many squiggly lines and they're all in your dialogue."

"WHAT?! I don't talk like that!"

Chili Pepper shrugs, "You did it once in front of a large crowd."

After several minutes of uncomfortable reading, Chili Pepper checks the chat, then smiles, "Oh dear, my wonderful guests, I'm not afraid to tell you that the audience has deemed this reading 'not spicy enough' sooo..."

She pulls the gun out of her hair again and aims it at them, "Act it out."

Killer Kitty gestures to the table, "ON THAT?!"

"Yes. Do it now."

Killer Kitty lets out a long, drawn out sigh while laying down on the table, "Fine, whatever. Do your worst, Consul."