My Turkish Heart

Chapter 17- How deep is our love?

The next few weeks were filled with even more ups and downs, as the workload had increased due to new partnerships. Burak was in meetings most of the day and sometimes had dinner engagements that ended late too. Izzy kept focused on her work too, but she wasn't as busy as him. Some evenings she felt quite lonely all alone in the penthouse. She tried to keep busy and often had calls with Rachel to catch up.
"How's Mr CEO doing?" Rachel teased on their call that evening.
Izzy was busy cooking, but stopped midway at the mention of him. Lately she had felt doubtful regarding her decision to relocate and try this relationship, but she thought it's just a phase that they will pass through. Not trying to show her doubtful behaviour to Rachel, she pretended that everything was fine.
"Things are going well" she bit her lip at the white lie she told.
"Is he home cooking you dinner or you going to a fancy restaurant?"
It had been a while since they even dined together at home, nevermind still going out to eat.
"His at a business dinner tonight, so I'm cooking for myself"
"See that's the down side of this! A hot man, stable and has a great position at the workplace, but his work life balance might be more abnormal than the usual. You can't have it all, I guess.."
Rachel's words resonated with Izzy's current situation and there was no telling when Burak will have free time again.
" Comes with the territory. I knew it before I signed up for this, so no biggy"
Izzy tried to sound cool and confident in her relationship.
"Rather you than me! Since my divorce, I know what I'll tolerate and what I won't. Time to head out, I'll call you tomorrow"
"Thanks Rach, have fun. Bye"

Sitting down alone by the counter top in the kitchen, fiddling with her pasta, her appetite was gone. Even though this was her comfort food, she felt like she needed more than this to make her feel better. Taking little bites, she stopped and put the food away for later. Going to her room, she decided to take a shower. Whilst she was in the shower, she did not hear the front door open as Burak arrived. He scanned the penthouse, as most of the lights were off. Walking in the kitchen he checked the warmer where Izzy's barely eaten pasta was. He remembered when they first met, how she said pasta was her comfort food.
"Why does she need comfort food? I thought we already made up a few days ago, or was she just pretending to be okay?"
Burak wanted answers and he wanted it now. He was already frustrated and furious at himself for not having enough personal time with her lately, so this definitely made him feel even more guilty.

As he walked to her bedroom door, he knocked and waited for her to respond. After three knocks, there was still no answer. Feeling determined to clear things up, he opened the door cautiously. Walking in her room, he heard the shower running in her bathroom. Hesitant about whether to wait outside her room or stay inside of it, Izzy opened the bathroom door. She stood in just her bathroom robe with beads of water still dripping down her neckline. She looked surprised at Burak being in her room, but did not say anything.
The tension in the room was really thick, as both parties stood gawking at each other. Burak felt fed up by this unnecessary tension between them and he walked over to her swiftly, grabbed her around her waist and pulled her closer to his chest. Their lips were inches away from each other and before Izzy could say anything he placed his lips on hers. Kissing her passionately like he should have done in the first place. Izzy was surprised by the kiss, as she could feel Burak's longing for her. She tasted the whiskey traces from his mouth, but Burak did not stop. He held her tighter, with his hands travelling her body as his desires took over.
"Wait!" Izzy stopped him, as she tried to catch her breath.
He looked at her baffled by why she stopped him.
"Don't you want me?" he asked sounding vulnerable.
"Yes, I do! But..."
"But what?! I know I've messed up lately by working so much and I'm pissed off at myself for not spending more time with you"
"Calm down, calm down!" she comforted Burak who sounded so worked up regarding the matter.
"No! I promised to take care of you and you sacrificed alot to relocate here, but I'm not putting in the same effort"
She sensed how troubled he was by this whole matter and thought to herself how silly she was for doubting their love.
"I know you're trying, but things won't always go our way. It has been hard lately for both of us. Instead of it bringing us closer, we allowed it to make us distant from one another. I'm to blame too"
Burak pulled Izzy closer by the nape of her neck and rested her head on his chest. He placed kisses on the top of her head as he held her.
"I love you Izzy, I really do. No matter how busy I am or how far apart I am from you, it will always be you"
"I love you too!"
Izzy wanted to tell Burak about the office gossip and why she think they should keep their distance at work, but she could feel the guilt he was already carrying because of their relationship and didn't want to add to it. She knew he would be extra protective if he knew about it and she wanted to handle this her own way.
"We'll talk things over soon, okay? I know there's alot of adjustments for both of us. Just don't keep anything from me, especially if you are unhappy here"
His few words gave her the reassurance she needed.
"Söz (promise)!!" she grinned.
He reluctantly let her go as he knew she was getting ready for bed. As he was leaving, he smiled and turned to the door, she grabbed him by the arm. Burak turned and looked at her, trying to figure out what she wanted.
"Sleep by me tonight...please"
She wanted it, but felt embarrassed about asking.
"Okay" he agreed sweetly.
He left to shower and change, whilst she dried and changed into her pajamas.

When Burak returned to her room, they both seemed quite shy of each other. Feeling flustered they got under the covers swiftly and switched off the lights. Laying side by side in the bed without uttering a word, they both felt silly.
"We're not kids, so why are we being like this?" Izzy said as she laughed aloud.
Her laughter stopped halfway as Burak grabbed her closer to him. They stared into each other's eyes lovingly. Izzy put her arm around Burak and rested her head on his chest. Falling asleep, listening to how their breathing patterns slowly synced, they never felt more closer.