Damaged

"One step at a time. Take it slow. Here I go...," I tell myself as I step foot into this living hell some people call school. I go through the doors and instantly pick up my pace. I slither through the crowded halls, take a left and go up to the third floor. I shove my way through the band geeks to get to my locker; locker 633. I put my 3 digit code in and pop my locker open. A mass of notes and papers fall to the floor. I pick 3 up.."faggot", "kill yourself, I could use the extra oxygen", and "cunt". Great.. More hate mail. At least there isn't anything dead in my locker like last year. School just started for this year, and I can already tell this will be complete shit. I kick aside the papers to get to my books. I grab my social studies book, my drawing book, my laptop and some head phones. I look down at the papers again and slam my locker shut. Everybody turns their head and gasps in my direction. Oh great, more unneeded attention. I quickly scurry out of the hallway and go to the bathroom. I pull my bag off my shoulder and set it on the counter. I pull out this little bag with a skull on it, how cute. I pull out my bottle of Valium and a flask of vodka. ADHD meds do have a upside. I take 3 pills followed by 4 large gulps to finish off my flask. School is just one more thing to put on my list I absolutely hate with the passion of 3 burning suns. I look in the mirror and see utter disgust. I don't see how anyone could love me. I am 6"3' with brown shaggy hair. I have baby blue eyes with hints of hazel and gold. My teeth may be straight but my smile is crooked. I wear skinny jeans and a band tee everyday but I can't chance people seeing my wrist so I wear a red jacket; every single day. It was Andy's jacket.. I am so hard to handle and unattractive, no wonder I will never have a true relationship. I put my things back into my bag and throw it over my shoulder. As I try to walk out of the bathroom, it happens... Blair walks into me. I start to blush seeing his gorgeous blonde hair ruffle over his eyes. His green eyes are glossy and full of character. He is 6"4'...taller, the way I like them. He is wearing jeans and a Hollywood Undead shirt. His perfect smile flashes right before he runs into me. Once we hit my bag falls and my books go everywhere. His friends and him stare and laugh. What an embarrassment I am.. I gather my things and shove them in my bag and get up and run. I run passed all the teachers and students and push my way out the door. I run until I can't breathe anymore, I don't even look back once. I run straight to the graveyard..