Damaged

Chapter 17

I'm driving. where to? i had no idea. i had my foot hard onto the pedal and i was going way over the speed limit. my bottle was almost empty and i had a buzz. i kept driving till i came to the turn.. the place of the accident. I started to sob to myself quietly as i slowed down to turn. I kept driving for almost 3 hours until i reached an air port. I parked my car and grabbed my bag. i started to walk into the airport and went up to a front counter. "a plain ticket to LA, United States, please" i say with my unsteady voice. "would that be a round trip or one way." the soft voice slashed through my thoughts. I looked at her and sluggishly said "one way." i looked around seeing the typical business men and a couple of other first class riders. occasional children and their mothers. "your total will be $195. do you have luggage or just a carry on? " i winched in pain..half of the cash i had was gone now. "one carry on." i say weakly. goddamn I'm so pathetic. she nodded her head as i handed her the cash and she exchanged it for a thin piece of paper that would change my life. i started walking for the wing entrance to go through security and pain plunged inside my stomach. I fell over grabbing my stomach and yelping. what was wrong? i stood up and grabbed my bag. People were looking at me like i was crazy. thoughts of Blair when we first bumped into each other that day in the bathroom popped into my head. those people had the same look on their face as Blair did. Blair... fuck i miss him so much. my eyes burned with tears as i bit my lip to hold them back. i continued walking as tears slipped accidentally. i got to security and removed my belt, bag, shoes and bracelets. i felt naked with my scars exposed. i walked through the scanner without a peep of the electronic but my bag wanted to be difficult. the buzzers went off and he immediately started to search my bag. He pulled out my cigarettes and alcohol then turned to me. "look, i cant let you pass with the alcohol but the cigs you can keep." i look at him and grab the bottle of jack and start to chug it. "don't worry about it now" i say with a smirk as i throw away the bottle and grab my things. i walk to the gate of my plain and sit down. In 5 minutes i would be on my way to America. a whole new life would be ahead of me. I hear the call for the members of our plain to board and i gather my things and get on. i sit in a seat by myself next to the window. with my fears of the plain going down i sat in the middle so maybe i would be safer if it were to crash. there was a little kid behind me kicking my seat the whole time and it was pissing me the fuck off. good thing I'm drunk other wise i would have beat the shit out of him. when the plane landed i unsteadily got off. i was in America. fast food and sweat filled my nose as i entered the airport. what the fuck was i doing? this was such a dumb idea. maybe i should go back. i reached into my bag and pulled out my Valium bag and stuck a pill under my tongue. the sour taste filled my mouth as i let it melt. i pulled out a cig and lit it. people glared at me but i didn't know what their problem was. i was walking towards the exit when a officer stopped me and ordered me to put out my cig. i did so and walked out of the airport. i walked on the sidewalk until i got to a bus stop and sat down. i waited and waited 3 hours until the next bus came. i got on the bus, paid my fine, and sat down. i looked out of the window as the sun was blinding. it smelt like BBQ and smoke outside. is this how it always smelt in America? my eyes started to burn as i noticed i was staring right at the sun. i started to think of Blair and lost myself in my sobs. i lost track of time and cried myself to seep on the bus. i didn't care where i was going at this point, i just wanted to get out of here. 

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hey guys! sorry it has been a bit since i updated. with school finals and things like that i havent had much time. i hope you are liking my story and where it is going. i think the nest couple of chapters will be a shock! love you guys! xoxo megs