Damaged

Chapter 7

I slowly gain continuances. I fell asleep on the car ride. We pull up to a house. "Well here it is. Home sweet home" I look at this gorgeous house in front of me. "That's mine?" "Yep" I open the car door and run up to the door. I open it and inside has every single thing of mine and furniture from the house. All my moms and dads belongings are gone besides pictures. I smile really big. "So you like it?" Brett says as he comes up behind me. "I love it" "well I've got to go. I have school. I will talk to you later okay?" "Okay and brett... Thanks for everything" "yeah no problem" I walk upstairs and walk into my giant bedroom. I plop on my bed and pull my laptop of the pillow and log onto my blog.

"Hey guys.. I don't know where to begin. A lot has happened in these 3 days. I almost kissed my crush, my mom killed herself, my dad was found dead, I experienced heart failure, I moved into a new condo and have been thinking a lot. Ask me questions,bi need something to do in my new house. Thanks, darlings.

Xo's Levi"

7 minutes go by and I check my blog. 4 questions.

1. How did your dad die?

Well, that's jumping right in...

"He was in a car crash.. Drowned at the bottom of a lake"

2.who is your crush?

Hmm..

"I can't say. It's a secret for now. Sorry darling"

3. Do you like girls or boys?

Oh great... Last thing I need is a sexuality question..

"I am pansexual. I love any gender."

4. Why do you blame yourself for your brothers death if he got shot. And why didn't he die from his car crash you thought was your fault?"

Andy.. I start to sob to myself knowing this will be hard.

"Okay. The night of the car crash didn't kill andy. It left him brain dead. He could still walk around but he couldn't talk or write or anything. He attended school to get out of the house. Since he was special Ed he got made fun of a lot. Which caused even more problems for him. Then the day came he pushed the guy back and he got shot. The hot was straight through his right rib. He suffocated and drowned in his own blood. If I wasn't driving and we didn't get in that car crash he never would have become special Ed and he never have been made fun of. There for its all my fault. I was so close to Andy once he was killed my whole life crashed. It went into a downward spiral... Thanks for caring though, darling"

As I press send I start to cry more and more. I hate thinking that this was all my fault. I think that is enough of my blog for tonight.. I shut my laptop and get up. I go to the fridge and it's filled with my favorite food. I grab a cheese stick and eat it while I walk around my condo. I look outside and see Blair walking. Oh no I hope he doesn't see me. I watch as he walks into a house not to far down the street from me. Oh Jesus tits. I live so close to blair! No no no this is bad.. I run into my bathroom and open the medicine cabinet and take some pain killers out. I shove 4 down my throat to take away what I am feeling but even I know pain killers won't help my emotions. I start to feel the trip I am getting and go to my kitchen cabinets and look for the liquor. I find a bottle of whiskey. I start to drink it with my throat burning and my stomach burning. I start to chug the rest of it. I drop the empty bottle on the floor and fall on my bed and slowly start to feel myself go into a deep daze..