Ride Or Die

reunion importante

I walk past the New Formals high-school with my airpods plugged in. I'm listening to Nirvana, while checking my social media.

I'm allowed to only have my family as contacts, not that I know anyone or want to know anyone who has social media.

I've never really been a people person. The fact that I got                 homeschooled my whole life, doesn't help with that. I never had friends, neighbor kids or nieces, who I could play with. My dad says it's to "dangerous" for my reputation. That I could tell them my secrets and that It could be dangerous for the Southwest mafioso, my family's in. I don't care that much about it.

I'm not going to cry in my room about it because I don't have friends.

Although maybe in the future I would like someone to talk to, share my life with, not my family's secrets obviously, but just normal things like what's my favorite music or what's my favorite color. Just 1 friend would be enough for me. NOT a boy. Just one sweet girl who would listen to me and who I would have fun with. Not going to happen I guess, but it's nice to think about it.
                                  _

When I'm home I pick out a snack, go to my room and lock my door.

I picked out
A chocolate bar. Since I never really had someone to talk to I just do what I want.

I don't know why or how, but I can't eat. If I eat something I feel fat and ugly. After a while I just need it out of my body. So I always go to the toilet and put a finger in my throat, until I throw up everything I just ate. It's always been like that. And it always will be.

After I did this, I get a call. It's my dad.
My dad and I never really had a father daughter relationship.

He just taught me how to fight and defense myself and I tried to make him proud. That's the only bond that there is between us. I don't care. He isn't the best father but also not the worst, we don't cuddle or hug or something like that.

Not that i ever felt the need to do that with someone.

My mom left us when I was little. I never knew her and I don't want to.

I'm not sad about it to be honest.
If a woman leaves her child behind, then I don't want to love her. I don't hate her, I mean I get it, it must be hard to grow up in a mafia family and get a daughter at the age of 16. But it doesn't mean she had to leave me and my dad behind.

Over all my family is kind of nice. I love my aunt Ana. She's my comfort person. Even tho she's 28 years older then me, I can still talk to her about most of my feelings.

The rest of my family is also kind of okay.
Except my 'cousin', Matteo. I can't stand him. I despise every single thing about him. How he treats women, his behavior against his own parents. He once tried to kill his abuelo, just because he was irritating him.

And the ego of that man. He thinks the whole world revolves around him. He thinks every woman he meets, wants him in her bed. He thinks he's the hottest of the hottest, a real 'man'.

In fact he thinks I want him. He always calls me "mi amor Isa". Like I would EVER want him. Just the thought about it makes me want to gag.
                                _

My dad calls me because he needs me for a deal. I'm happy to because I have nothing else to do, and I'm bored as fuck.

He tells me to meet him at my abuela's house.
I decide to call Leandro, my personal car driver, and my second best friend.

As he arrives I get in the black mat Lexus and we start driving.

Once I'm at my abuela's house, I notice my whole family is there. This is really uncommon because we try to not meet often.

Not at birthdays, not at Thanksgiving, not at Christmas, not at any occasion where family's usually meet.

The reason why we don't meet often is because it's to "dangerous". I think because there are so much well-known mafia leaders.

I look around the room and see the only one who's missing is Ana. I was actually  really excited to meet her but, oh well. I ask my dad as soon as I see him where she is.

"She wasn't really... fond of our deal." He explains. Ok? I go to my abuela to ask why we're here and she says I will see in a minute. Why is everyone so mysterious?

I feel someone staring at me and turn around. I see Matteo staring at me with a unrecognizable look on his face.

I stop looking at him as I hear our meeting begin.

"Hello, dear family members" my abuela says. Everyone gathers around her. She's holding two jars with paper notes inside it.

"We've decided we will make a deal with the Santiago mafioso. We will arrange a marriage with 2 family members. It doesn't matter if you are already married or engaged, you got put into this jar."

She says."Ana isn't with us today because she didn't agree with these conditions. And that's why she will get no money or protection out of this deal."

The conditions we've discussed are: you will have to live and love, or act to be in love, with your partner for 3 years.
You will have to live together and make a child.
And the last condition: if you dont act in love or refuse to agree with these conditions, you will have no benefits in this deal, and a war will start between us and the Santiago mafioso.

I look surprised that everyone actually agreed with this. Me not of course. There's no way they ask for my opinion. 
I'm still only 17, so too young to have any saying in this arrangement.

"Now" my abuela says. " I will pick from this jar" she's mentioning the right jar where's "boys" writen on. Her hand goes true the notes with names on and she eventually picks one out and reads it out loud. "Matteo" she yells. Everyone looks at Matteo who's now smiling a big smile.

Of course he loves this. The asshole with a to big ego.

I already feel bad for the girl who has to marry him.

He comes standing next to abuela, with a proud look on his face.

"So who's going to marry this handsome boy?" Abuela says.
I scuff. Handsome, him? No way in hell.

I mean he looks kind of good in that tuxedo. And his eyes are actually really pretty.

Wait- what am I saying. No he's not handsome with his black fluffy hair and
Green eyes. No ofcourse not.

My abuela is searching through the notes for the girls now.

She screams :"And the lucky girl who is going to marry Matteo is.......
Isabella!