Nagising ako with him, hugging me. Nakaunan ako sa shoulder nya habang nakayakap naman sya saken, his hand was underneath my jacket to be exact.
He's like hugging my baby.
Siniksik ko lalo ang sarili ko sa kanya, napahigpit naman ang yakap nya saken.
It's been two weeks since I found out about the baby. Nakucurious lang akong gamitin ang PT sa infirmary then poof. It went out positive. Tumambay kase ako saglit dun that time kase bigla akong nahilo.
I wasn't regretting anything that happened. Actually, masaya pa nga ako. I just can't afford to let anyone know about it. Natatakot ako.
Hindi ko alam kung bat ako naduduwag.
Natatakot akong malaman kung ano ang irereact nila.
Nakatitig lang ako sa kanya.
I don't know what I'm feeling right now.
I can say I'm happy when I'm with him but I'm scared too.
I'm scared... Too scared that he might get tired of me.
"Staring is rude, but you're born rude to me so I'm used to it."-nakapikit nyang sabe with a smile, napaiwas naman ako ng tingin.
Tsss, anghangin nya talaga.
Napaigtad ako when I felt him caress my stomach. My heartbeat and my breathing went uneven.
"Are you OK now?"-pabulong nyang sabe. Napatango naman ako.
He sighed.
Biglang bumaliktad ang sikmura ko kaya napatayo ako bigla pero bumagsak lang ako pabalik sa sofa nung bigla akong nahilo. Napahawak naman sya sa waist ko.
"Are you OK?"-nag-aalala nyang sabe.
I closed my eyes, fighting the dizziness. I covered my mouth with my left hand and tried to stand up again.
"Where do you wanna go?"-taranta nyang sabe na nakaupo na ngayon sa gilid ko. Tinuro ko naman ang restroom then he nod. Tinulungan nya naman ako sa paglalakad papunta sa cr.
Nung naabot ko na ang sink maslalong sumama ang sikmura ko kaya hindi ko na mapigilang masuka. Suka ako ng suka pero tubig or it could be laway lang ang lumalabas. Haplos ng haplos naman sya sa likod ko habang nakaalalay sakin para hindi ako matumba.
"Aren't you done puking?"-nag-aalala nyang tanong habang inaalis ang buhok na nakacover sa mukha ko. Pulang-pula na ako kakasuka. Ahhg. I feel sick! Napasandal naman ako sa kanya nung huminto na ako sa pagsuka.
"Are you sick? What do you want me to do? God, you're so cold!"-taranta nyang sabe.
Nung medyo nawala na ang hilo ko, nagmumog muna ako bago ako nagsalita.
"Lemonade tea. I need a lemonade tea."-I said hoarsely.
Napatango naman sya at bigla akong binuhat in a bridal style. Napakapit nalang ako sa kanya.
Binaba nya ako sa sofa then he proceeded to the kitchen.
He went back after five minutes with a mug on his hand.
He sat beside me then he handed me the mug.
Nabanguhan naman ako sa amoy. The scent of lemon made my mouth water. Ininom ko na ang laman ng mug, feeling the relief it's giving me.
Napabuntong-hininga naman ako nung medyo umOK na ang pakiramdam ko.
"You're pregnant."-napahinto naman ako sa pag-inom. Feeling ko huminto lahat. I don't know how to react. It wasn't a question. Its a statement. He made it sound like he don't want me to explain. He sounded like he wanted me to clarify it to him.
Napalunok naman ako.
Blangko ang expression nya.
I don't want him like this.
Masgusto ko pang sigawan nya ako.
Masgusto ko pang saktan nya ako physically. Wag lang ang ganto. Ayaw ko ng sinasilent treatment nya ako.
Natatakot ako sa kung ano mang iniisip nya.
Sobrang lakas ng tibok ng puso ko. Nabitawan ko ang mug dahil biglang nanginig ang kamay ko. It broke into pieces but he don't seem to mind.
"Until when are you going to keep this from me?"-he said coldly.
I felt choked.
Nasosuffocate ako the way he throw those words at my face.
Nakakadurog ng puso.
"Sobrang nahihirapan na ako, France. Don't you even notice that? I love you, don't you know that? I love you so much that its choking me. And now you're keeping-- you're not telling me about that baby-- my baby--- our baby for heavens f*cking sake! Do you hate me that much?! Mahal kita! P*ta! Nasasaktan ako kasi mahal kita!"-pabulong pero pabagsak syang sabe.
Biglang kumawala ang mga luha ko. How could I be so mean to him? Does this mean that he wanted me to go away now kase nahihirapan na sya kakaintindi saken?
I was caught off guard when he crashed his lips on mine. He held me by my waist hanggang sa mapaupo na ako sa lap nya. Napahawak ako sa shoulder sya, kissing him back.
"God, I really wanted to punish you from making me feel this way."-bulong nya nung bumaba ang halik nya sa leeg ko.
Napapikit naman ako dahil sa sensation na nararamdaman ko.
"Ahhh..."-impit kong ungol when he bit my neck then he sucked it making me grip on his shoulders tighter.
Pinasok nya ang kamay nya sa jacket ko then he caress my back torturously slow.
Bumalik ang halik nya sa labi ko. Sobrang diin ng halik nya. Dinikit ko naman lalo ang sarili ko sa kanya when a familiar feeling came back to me.
"I love you."-he whispered.
"Shut up and just kiss me."-I said hoarsely then kissed him again.
Sobrang lakas ng tibok ng puso ko. I felt so hot kaya hinubad ko ang jacket ko. Napahito naman sya at napatingin saken then down to my stomach. Hinaplos nya ang flat ko pang tyan, smiling at it. I felt my heart melt.
God, this man is so impossible!
Napatingin naman sya ulit saken.
"Please, don't leave me France."-he begged. I stared at him for a moment then I nodded.
"I love you."-he said with a smile now, I kissed him as an answer. He kissed me back.
I feel the same...
Gion, I love you...
And I hate that I love you 'cause its hurting me.
It made me feel so weak, so scared, so scared that what you feel towards me might not last.
I love you and its killing me.
BINABASA MO ANG
☂
RomanceThis is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely...
