Can't Stop | HoonSuk [✓]

02

As everyone expected, Park Jihoon was picked as one of the official members of our school's soccer team despite not being a member of the soccer club. Well. He is definitely one of the aces like what people have been talking about. I already knew how well he performed when I watched his game before. But playing in a game together with him made me impressed with his real skill. He was still doing his playing style last year. He leads the other player in secret. Probably the other player didn't even realize that they were being controlled by Park Jihoon on the field. 

As much as I'm impressed with his skill, I want to try not to see him other than during our practice hours. Why? Because my heart has been playing this weird tune whenever our eyes meet. And if he smiled at me, it made me feel weird in my stomach. I can't even explain. It's suffocated. It makes it hard to breathe. I don't like how I feel right now. It is just Park Jihoon.

"Why are you leaving so fast? Usually you'll spend more time at the field after the practice. You used to be the last one who left the field. What happened now?" Yeonjun asked. Yes. I used to be the last one who'll go back home after our practice. But after Jihoon joined our team, I just can't keep my cool. I feel like I might have acted foolish if we are not currently having any matches. Either it is practice or friendly matches. I want to be cool. I want to be viewed as cool. But with him around, I don't think that I can act cool anymore. Maybe because I've been admiring his skill? I don't know. But for some reason, I disliked the feeling I felt whenever I saw him or made eye contact with him.

"I don't know. I just don't feel like it," I said.

"We used to say that your home is the field. Now, not anymore," Yeonjun said.

"Yeonjun. Did I change? Is there anything different about me compared to last year?" I asked.

"Hm? What kind of question is that? You're still the same. Even your height has not even increased," Yeonjun said. I quickly slapped the back of his head. "Yah! That hurts!"

"So, I'm still the same?" I asked. Asking for more confirmation. Because I'm pretty sure that I acted really differently after Park Jihoon joined our team.

"Why? Someone told you that you look different or something?" Yeonjun said.

"No. I just feel like I acted weirdly these days," I said. "Is it jealousy?"

"Why? Jihoon?" Yeonjun asked.

"Yeah,"

"Well. He is indeed a real deal. I thought that those people are just all talk. But wow. He's really cool. I really like how he plays. Did you see him commanding with only his eyes? He looked freaking cool in those matches," Yeonjun said. "Ah! I know. You might feel discouraged seeing someone who's more skilled than you? That's why you didn't really want to practice more?"

"Did I? I mean. I still want to practice. I just don't feel like being around him," I said. "Whenever I see him, I feel like something is squeezing my heart. I don't like the fact that I dislike having eye contact with him. He didn't even do anything though. It makes me frustrated,"

"When you're the one who worked so hard to get him in our team?" Yeonjun asked. He's right. It's me who keeps trying to make him join our school's soccer team. "I feel like you should try to talk to him. Try to lower your ego and talk to him. You might get intimidated by his skill after you experience it yourself. But, let's think in a positive way. You can get close to him and discuss more about soccer. Maybe it can improve your skill as well? You're skillful enough but having someone else who's also as skillful to talk about soccer, you might will like it,"

"You're telling me that I'm ego?" I asked.

"That's the impression I got through your words. I didn't see it. You didn't really act like that. But you always acted cool whenever and whenever. But hearing you say that about Jihoon, I thought you might just have an ego?" Yeonjun asked. "Or else. You might have a crush on him,"

"Are you crazy?"

"That's why I go with the first statement," Yeonjun said. "Try to lower your ego just a bit. You guys might get along well. You didn't have any girlfriend too now,"

"What is the correlation between this and that?" I asked.

"You didn't hear it? Ah. You probably only care about soccer skill anyway. You're just a soccer freak who cares about nothing but soccer," Yeonjun said. "I heard that he used to steal his team mates' and club members' girlfriends,"

"Wait! Really?" I asked. I didn't expect that. I haven't heard anything like that about Jihoon. Is that why he didn't join any club when he started high school? Because he's going to steal the members' girlfriend. Is it his hobby? That's a weird hobby.

"Well. I don't think that was the actual case. He still looks like a kid to me. But the words got out and spread around. It affected him too much too, I guessed?" Yeonjun said.

I see why he always acted so indifferent. He acted like he's not in the same space as us. Like in his own world. He probably knows very well that people are talking about him. That's why he did that.

Yeonjun left me as soon as he spotted his close friends who were waiting for him at the gate. I just continued to walk out from the school's compound. I'm bored. I don't tire myself these days because I'll go straight home right after practices, so it makes it hard to sleep at night. I'm craving coffee right now. But I'm afraid that it will be harder for me to fall asleep tonight. I stand in front of the café. Still conflicted if I want to buy something or not.

"Not going in, sunbaenim?" I turned to the owner of the voice. My eyes widened but I quickly controlled it. It's Park Jihoon.

"Oh. I'm just not really sure if I want to go in or not," I said with a calmest voice possible. I am calm. I am cool. It is just a junior who is just a little more skilled than average high school students in soccer. Other than that, he's just the same as me. Just a high school student.

Lower my ego, Yeonjun said. Let's try. I am not all mighty about soccer. I wanted to improve my skill in soccer. I keep repeating that in my mind.

"Here," I turned to Jihoon, who's now at the left side. He already has a cup of iced chocolate drink? I guess? And handing me a cup of tea? When did he go in and order it? Did I space out that long? "It's iced lemon tea. My treat. I am not sure what to buy for you. If you don't want it, I'll just bring this home,"

"Oh. Thank you," I said and took the ice lemon tea. Our hands touched a little. Sending the weird tingling feeling again. Seriously? This is not about ego, right?

"Thank you for approaching me first that day. I really appreciate it," Jihoon said with a wide smile. He's so cute. Wait! He's cute? I think he's cute?! "I'll excuse myself first. See you on the next practice,"

I just nodded and watched him walk away from me. Until his figure disappeared from my sight. I looked at the ice lemon tea that he gave me. 

Yeonjun said that he goes with the first statement. While the second one is me, having a crush on Park Jihoon.

No way. There's no way that I ever have a crush on Park Jihoon. We are both males. Why the hell do I have to be attracted to someone who is a male.

"I must've be crazy,"

Why? Because I feel like it might be the case. What else can explain how I can't act cool around Park Jihoon? That my heart pounds so hard and loud whenever our eyes meet. And the tingling sensation when we ever touched. How do I explain those if it's not me having a crush on Park Jihoon?