Can't Stop | HoonSuk [✓]

06

"I want us to break up," Somyi sunbaenim said. Wait! Is that what she really said? Did I mishear it?

"Wait. Why?" I asked.

"Do you even like me?" Somyi sunbaenim asked. Well. Do you even actually like me? Didn't you like Park Jihoon? That's what I thought. There's no way I would say that out loud. Because I'm not that brave. And I'm a certified coward from the moment I decided to accept her to be my girlfriend even though I know that she didn't like that that much. She just asked me to go out with her because she knows that there's a lot of possibility of Park Jihoon being around me. "You can't even answer me,"

"I'm trying. I'll treat you better," I said. Because I don't want you to go after Park Jihoon of course. After becoming her boyfriend, Somyi sunbaenim is a very perfect girl. She's pretty, kind and smart. She treats everyone nicely. She's a perfect match for Park Jihoon. But I don't want her to be with Park Jihoon.

At first, I thought that I would outgrow my feelings toward Park Jihoon after I went out with Somyi sunbaenim. But then, I became even more conscious of him. I became more conscious of Somyi sunbaenim's body language and the way she talked when Park Jihoon was around. It screams like she's trying to get his attention.

I tried to not think much about it. Because in the end, she's still my girlfriend. People might act like that around celebrities they like too, right? But is Park Jihoon a celebrity? No. It makes me dislike it whenever I have to be where the two of them are at the same time.

"It has been more than a month. In fact, it's been almost 2 months since we started going out," Somyi sunbaenim said. "You don't look like you're okay if I touch you in public. Can you even kiss me? Do you even have a thought to kiss me?"

Kiss? I looked at her. I looked at her lips. Will I kiss those lips? Do I want to? No. But I definitely want to try to kiss Jihoon's lips. Ugh! I'm so messed up. How did I become like this? I have a girlfriend but the one who I wanted to kiss is my best friend. Not my girlfriend.

"I'm sorry," I said. After realizing it, I can't even deny it anymore. I'm such a scumbag. I hated myself for having this mixed, confused feeling. Did I hurt Somyi sunbaenim's feelings? Just by looking at her, she probably got hurt a lot by my actions.

"So. That's it, I guess," Somyi sunbaenim said. "Thank you for almost 2 months. I really appreciate it,"

"I'm sorry," I said.

"I wanted to curse you a lot. But I don't feel like I deserved to do so," Somyi sunbaenim said. "I hope you suffer a little bit more,"

Suffer huh? I did a bad thing I guess. Playing with someone's feelings. 

I stayed there even after an hour Somyi sunbaenim left. I wonder what I should do. I took out my phone. I got a message from my parents telling me that they have a business event to attend in Japan for a week and they'll leave in the evening. I'll stay alone, I guessed?

After staying there for another few minutes, I walked back home. I purposely walk and not take any public transportation from school. When I reached my house, it's already really late. I'm quite lucky that I don't have to go to cram school today. If not, I don't think I can even focus on studying. I throw myself on the bed. I'm exhausted.

I took out my phone when I got a notification notifying me that I got a message. It's from Jihoon. He sent me a picture of a Spiderman doll. He said that he saw it when he's back from the library. It's the time when Jihoon is back from the library. He will go to the library for the preparation of the science competition. I quickly pressed the call icon.

"Yes, hyung?"

"I broke up with my girlfriend," I told him. He didn't say anything. I'm just waiting for him to say something. But even after a few seconds, he didn't say anything. I looked at my screen. Making sure that he hasn't hung up the call. It's still up. "Park Jihoon?"