It All Started With A Ride

31. Teasing and unexpected plans

"She's amazing, first off, did you know people could babysit at 8? Because I didn't- and she has amazing taste in music like how do I even begin to explain this?? A-and-"

"I get it, you're in love with Lizzy!" I interrupted Malaya with a laugh and watched as her bottom nose wrinkled, "sorry" she laughed, "I just couldn't help myself".

Malaya and I have many differences, but one of many, is that she has people she can talk about her crush to.

I don't.

And truth is, I'm scared that if I simply blink for too long- everything- Maxine, my second home, Laney, Layla- and even Charles, will disappear.

And then I'll be left with nothing.

But I was happy for Malaya- she liked Lizzy, and I could tell Lizzy liked her- and the truth is, all both of them needed- was a little courage.

I knew I needed that when I had a crush on who I like to call my "in-betweener" Basically, she was the girl I liked when I was with Tyler- but not before I liked Max.

She moved this school year- and I sort of forgot about her over the summer.

The way I saw it, eventually- everyone I cared about- would realize I'm not good enough- and I'm annoying, and clingy, and weird- and a myriad of things that would cause people to leave- and then they would.

I wasn't expecting any different from Max, or even Layla and Laney.

It was just a matter of time.

For now- I figured, I would enjoy this time- take in the small things- like Maxine's sweet strawberry scent, or the way she laughed every time I did something stupid-

It was times like that when I felt happy- content even.

When that was gone, I knew I'd be devastated...

I guess I was staring blankly at Malaya since she snapped her fingers in front of my face, "Tabs, you good?" She asked.

I sucked in a breath of air with a nod, "I uh- I'm fine" I shifted my attention back to Malaya, "What were you saying?"

"How you like Max and she's in our living room".

"Really?!" I could tell my sudden peeking up was humorous to Malaya- but I wouldn't blame her- if I saw me go from blank to perky that quickly at the mere mention of Max's name.

Malaya nodded, "something about missing you" she muttered.

I smiled and made my way across the kitchen and the entrance into the sunshine-yellow-painted living room to see Max standing there- looking at the picture of the younger me hanging on the walls.

"Hey, are you okay?" I asked her, because it was Monday, she was supposed to be at work by now, and Malaya and I were supposed to be cleaning the kitchen for an apparent party they were throwing Tuesday night.

"This is you?" Max ignored my question and looked behind her shoulder at me, I could see she was pointing at a picture of me, around six or seven, with my hair in two ponytails and two braids framing the front of my face, along with some butterfly burettes that were pastel colors. I was wearing a fluffy pink glittered skirt and a light blue shirt with the Superman sign on it in a slightly darker blue.

I was smiling at the camera, a missing tooth or two glancing back at it as my brown eyes were filled with happiness.

There was no sign of feeling like I wasn't enough inside her eyes.