Daughters of Chaos

1

Chapter One

Phoenix

Do you know where you come from? I thought I did. I thought my whole life was one long journey, one that was simple, easy, uncomplicated. Sure, sometimes it could be boring, but that was okay. I was content.

Then, Mom got sick. She was always there for me and my sister, Raven. She was the glue that held us together- she had to be. We didn't have a father, at least not one that was around. Mom said he bolted shortly before she found out she was pregnant, and that was that. She never really mentioned him much, except to tell us he'd made his choice, and it wasn't her.

She told us one night after a bad episode that she wanted to tell us something important. Raven and I sat by her bedside as she told us a story. A love story. Her love story, hers and my dad's.

Mom told us that it was hard to talk about him, that he was the love of her life. He blew in one day out of nowhere on his Harley and knocked the breath right out of her chest. He was heading to Arizona to start a new life. The one he was running from was unbearable and he had to get away while he could. That's when he met Mom.

They fell in love. Mom said he made her feel alive for the first time in her life. He made her dream of leaving her hometown one day and starting a new life, with him anywhere his bike would take them.

The glow in her eyes as she told us the story was unmistakable, though, surprising. Growing up, she always made it seem like he never cared, that he didn't want her or a family, so he left. It always sounded like he was no good. A useless man who'd used her up and spit her out when things got too heavy. The way she talked about him on her deathbed was so different.

Raven and I only knew one thing for certain about the man who fathered us- his last name. When we were born, Mom gave us his last name in hopes that if he ever came back he could see that he'd created something beautiful. Other than that, we knew next to nothing about him.

As the years passed, she saw that he wasn't coming back. She was on her own. When we started getting older and asking questions, she told us he didn't want a family. His lifestyle wouldn't allow it. I'm still not sure what she meant by that, but Rae always took Mom's words to heart. Even after we heard their full love story and saw how nostalgic Mom still was for the man, Raven wanted nothing to do with him.

When Mom died, I felt lost. I wanted nothing more than to reverse time and have her here the way things used to be, but that was never going to happen. She was gone and with her, a huge piece of myself was too.

Weeks passed, months even, and I couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing in my life. After learning about my father, I couldn't help but wonder if Mom was right. Did he truly never want a life with her- a family? Or was he just scared? Maybe she was wrong and he'd spent years trying to work up the courage to come back to her. Maybe he still thought of her to this day.

It broke my heart to think of the possibilities, especially after Mom shared with us their story. They loved each other so deeply, the way you only see in movies or read about in books. I've never witnessed anything like it in real life, but that kind of love does exist. It did for my mom. Once upon a time.

I keep telling myself that's why I'm doing this- driving from Albuquerque to Phoenix- for my mom. It's only to tell the once love of her life that she's gone, that he was loved by her until the very end. That's all.

I know it isn't true. A large part of me needs to know the man who helped give life to two very different young women. I always took after Mom in everything. I got her looks, her temperament, and her way with words and people. Raven took after our father in those departments, or so we were told toward the end. She's got dark hair and an attitude. Things she inherited from the man himself, Elias West.