⚠️ Also once again, this is not a reflection on any member's belief system, there is homophobic content ahead so if you are uncomfortable please don't read it. ⚠️
Hello, my lovelies!! Sorry for the lack of updating, I've been super busy with my uni work and I honestly hit a mini writer's block. I've been hesitant to post this one, I wrote this for my literature class almost five years ago now and I've been super proud of it. (Lowkey doesn't want someone to steal it and plagiarise it).
The basic idea is that each mini-chapter jumps through different genre styles and goes through a different timeline using the different songs as the prompt. I hope you love it as much as I do 💜
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1.1: Serendipity
Let me love you
It couldn't have been a coincidence when our eyes had interlocked for the first time. I noticed your beautiful slender face and clear tan skin, narrow brown eyes that reminded me of a fierce dragon. You smiled at me and my heart did a mini summersault in my chest, I tried to smile back but the muscles weren't cooperating.
"My name is Namjoon." You introduced, holding a firm hand out towards me.
"I-I 'm Seokjin, a pleasure to meet you," I replied formally, trying hard to not stutter again.
Was it fate when our paths passed by one another? Every day when you looked at me it was as if every ounce of breath was taken out of my lungs. Is that what falling in love is like? Like a story, you never want to end? I've never felt this way before, this longing for love, I can't bear to lose it- lose this emotion that makes me feel complete.
When I see you, it's as if space and time become the finest point imaginable, as if time collapses into a tiny speck and explodes at light speed. It's as if my universe begins and ends with you. I could run forever, search forever, but in the end, every path would lead back to you. But, I can't be with you and you can't be with me. We are both males. I'm not what you want. But can't I be? What if I changed for you?
Even when fate had picked the wrong time for our love to blossom.
Will you love me as I love you?
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1.2: Euphoria
You're my happy place
We grew up with the ideology, that commitment was between a man and a woman. We lived by the Church's rules. If one person dared step out of line or dare to disobey or resist the rules, they'd pay heavy consequences. I laugh at the hypocrisy. God says to love all his children, yet we discriminated against those who prefer the same gender? We were preaching to a hypocrite. We became the embodiment of hypocrisy.
I remember this boy from my neighborhood, who was caught in an unforgivable act. ("What an abomination! That devil deserves to spend an eternity in hell!" my father spat out in disgust, my mother merely nodding in agreement.) Both boys were sent to the Church uphill and later that week both boys were found dead under the big oak tree near the compound. They deemed it a suicide that both males were too far gone to be saved.
My family was strict, wanting nothing more than to become the embodiment of the Church. We went to Church every Sunday, looking our finest with hair nicely arranged and clothes prim and proper. We thanked God for everything we were thankful for. We thanked him for loving us and giving us the power to love and be loved.
But what was I thankful for?
Sure, I was alive, but was I really? I desired to be something I wasn't. I desired something that wasn't possible. I wanted to be someone Namjoon could love, someone he could accept. Why was I born a male? Why couldn't I be everything Namjoon wanted?
