"Fuck! I screwed up!" Namjoon puts his hands through his hair, pacing back and forth in the studio. Hoseok watched the other pace, whilst Yoongi was writing in his notebook.
"Explain what happened," Hoseok asks, leaning back on his chair.
"Jimin asked me if I was his second dad, I choked and I panicked so I ended up running out"
Namjoon looks at his friends, who are both staring at him, Hoseok's mouth is ajar.
"Yeah you fucked up," Yoongi says, going back to his notebook, "probably beyond that"
"I know that!"
"How could you just leave!?" Hoseok exclaims, now leaning forward again.
"I don't know! I panicked!"
"Have you called Seokjin? Rang him?"
"N-no...I just came straight here"
"Namjoon! You're meant to be smart!"
"I know that!" Namjoon sighs, sitting on the couch across from Yoongi and Hoseok, putting his head in his hands.
"I don't know what to do"
"Well, how do you feel about Seokjin?" Yoongi asks, now placing his notebook down.
"I-I feel happy, and I feel warm inside whenever he's around me. I love him, I really do."
"But?"
"But...I can't be a dad. I have no idea how to be a dad, I have zero survival instinct. I can't hurt them, they're too good for me. I just don't want to hurt them." Namjoon feels tears prick in his eyes, thinking about the kids.
"Namjoon, you clearly care a lot for them. We've seen you with them, you're fantastic with them. A lot better than you give yourself credit for" Hoseok says.
"They love you, Jimin wouldn't ask that if they didn't" Yoongi adds.
"But what if I'm not good enough? What if we break up and then what?" Namjoon mumbles.
"Come on Namjoon, you wouldn't have done everything that you have for Seokjin and the kids if you didn't love them. You fell in love with them just by seeing them on a bus" Hoseok says, "you two are so in love, breaking up doesn't seem that high in your cards"
"You're already doing more than the bare minimum for them" Yoongi adds, "but we don't want to tell you that your feelings aren't invalid either. I'm sure Seokjin will understand if you just tell him how you feel. But, it's pretty stupid that you're underestimating yourself"
"All we can say is that you already are a family. The kids see you as their father too"
Namjoon finally let his emotions take over, Yoongi gets up and side-hugs him whilst Hoseok hugs his other side.
"It's okay bud, you can talk to Seokjin tomorrow and tell him what you've told us"
"It's gonna be okay" Yoongi comforts.
*************
The next day Seokjin wasn't the usual bright self, but he still smiled and was as polite as ever. When the kids would usually walk in with Seokjin, they'd immediately run up toward Namjoon and hug him whilst showing off their artwork from the night before. However, the kids both walked straight into the playpen and played quietly, they hadn't spoken to Namjoon or even spared him a glance. That broke Namjoon, he never wanted to hurt them, and he knew his reaction was bad (well duh). He was going to explain everything to Seokjin and be truthful, he didn't know how Seokjin would react, and that scared Namjoon. But he had also prepared himself for the worst.
"Hi"
"Hello" Seokjin smiles at Namjoon, but not his usual smile, not the one that reaches his eyes and makes his eyes sparkle.
"Can we talk?"
"Okay"
Namjoon takes Seokjin to the studio, closing the door behind him. The two awkwardly stare at each other.
"Is Jimin okay?"
"Jimin is okay, I explained to him the situation and he understands."
"What about Taehyung and Jungkook?"
"They are okay, Jungkook was too busy eating his nuggets"
Namjoon smiles a little bit.
"I know how I reacted was wrong, and I'm sorry Seokjin for hurting you by running out"
"Why did you...react that way? I'm not angry at you, well okay maybe a little, but I would like to understand why" Seokjin asks. Namjoon takes a deep breath.
"Seokjin, before I met you and the kids, I never wanted a family. I grew up in a family where we didn't have dinner together, we didn't say 'I love you' and we didn't have what the kids had with you. You're an amazing father, it's second nature to you."
Namjoon pauses, gathering his thoughts.
"I...I didn't want to be like my own family and ruin the kids...I love them, I really do...but they deserve the best in life and I didn't think I am that person. I didn't want to deal with the heartbreak if something ever happened to us, I didn't want to become the disappointed father figure"
