23. What you deserve [Part Two]

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Hello, my lovelies! I'm super sorry, this sucks lol. I do hope somebody enjoys :)
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Seokjin was busy cleaning the dishes whilst the kids played quietly in the living room.
"Alright boys, let's go brush our teeth" Seokjin beckons the children upstairs to the bathroom, carrying a sleeping baby Jungkook in his arms as he directs Taehyung and Jimin on how to correctly brush their teeth.

"Where is Joonie?" Taehyung asked as Seokjin tucked him in, Seokjin hadn't told the kids that Namjoon and him weren't together anymore. He himself didn't even want to believe it. (Here take some Delulu pills 💊 )
"He's at work," Seokjin says simply, now tucking in Jimin next to Taehyung.
"Why has he been gone for so long?" Jimin yawns, cuddling up to Taehyung.
"He's an idol, he's on tour on the other side of the world" Seokjin keeps it short, kissing the top of their foreheads. He watched as they both drifted off, smiling at his sons. He wished Namjoon got to experience this alongside him. Namjoon loved the kids as much as he did. The dream was to have this family together.

Seokjin lay in bed, taking Namjoon's jumper and holding it close. He missed Namjoon, but he couldn't help but feel even more pissed off about how he ended things. It was so out of the blue. Seokjin wanted to hate Namjoon for breaking his heart, but he couldn't. He loved Namjoon, and all he wanted was to have him back. He wanted that future they had always talked about, and he knew that Namjoon wanted that too. He rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling, sighing he tried to fall asleep, knowing it would be yet another sleepless night.

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Seokjin stood outside the music company Namjoon worked at. He usually would go and visit Namjoon when he was recording, and he knew that the tour was over so the chances that he was there were high. He needed to speak to Namjoon, to speak his mind and hopefully be able to fix the situation. He wanted Namjoon to listen to what he had to say, and hopefully change his mind.

Seokjin walked into the building, bumping into Yoongi who was walking out.
"Oh, hello Yoongi" Seokjin smiles politely.
"Hello, long time no see. Have you been well?" Yoongi asks, a bit surprised to see Seokjin.
"I'm okay. Have you seen Namjoon?"
"Yeah, he's in his studio. Why are you here?"
"I need to talk to him"
"Is that wise?" Yoongi raises an eyebrow.
"Why wouldn't it be wise?" Seokjin narrows his eyes at Yoongi.

"He's been upset for weeks now, and barely comes out of the studio. I don't think seeing you will improve his mood" Yoongi says bluntly.
"He's the one who caused this, I'm here to fix it" Seokjin huffs, "please move"
"Seokjin, I don't think-"
"-Dammit Yoongi, move before I make you move!" Seokjin threatens, making Yoongi flinch and ultimately move over.

"Thank you, I'm sorry" he walks past Yoongi, now making his way to Namjoon's room. He stood outside his studio, taking deep breaths. Now that he was at the door, he felt all the anxiety rise up into his body, making him feel numb. He could see the outline of Namjoon, who is silently bobbing his head.

Seokjin knocks on the door gently, noticing that Namjoon hasn't gotten up. He knocks a few more times until he hears Namjoon sigh, throwing his head back as he groans and gets up to open the door.
"Yoongi I thought I said-"
Namjoon stops in his tracks seeing Seokjin standing there, eyes widening and jaw slack.
"I'm not Yoongi" Seokjin tries to joke even though he can hear his heart pounding in his ears.
"What-why...how?"
"I just came here to talk," Seokjin says, "can I come in?"
Namjoon doesn't say anything but opens the door to let Seokjin in. Seokjin walks in, now fidgeting with the hem of his shirt as he stares anxiously around the room. He noticed that the studio wasn't tidy, beer bottles were on the desk and takeaway containers were scattered on the floor. Namjoon had massive purple bags under his eyes and he was looking paler than usual. He did not look well.

"Are you okay?" Seokjin asks him, Namjoon only nods, looking at his feet. Seokjin sighs, letting them stand in silence for a little bit.

"Why did you do it? Why did you leave me?" Seokjin asks quietly, heart rapidly beating. Namjoon frowns, shoulders slumped. 
"Seokjin, you had to live your life. I couldn't be the reason you couldn't go and do the things you wanted to do. I just didn't want to be the reason you didn't reach your full potential. I care about you so-"
"-no. No, you don't get to say that you care about me, because a person who cares about another wouldn't do this" Seokjin says with clenched fists, he begins to click his fingers to calm himself.

"You think I did that because I don't care about you?" Namjoon scoffs, "I do care! It fucking terrifies me how much I care! I did this for you!"
"No, don't you dare say you did this for me. You did this for yourself, this stupid idea that I wasn't happy. You didn't even ask me. You just made a decision on your own, based on your own insecurity" Seokjin says with tears in his eyes.
"I can't make you wait for me-"
"-stop saying stupid shit like that Namjoon" Seokjin closes his eyes and takes a breath.
"Stop telling me what I should do, or how I'm meant to feel! I was the happiest when I was with you. I want us and I will always choose you. Every day. Every time. No matter what. Because I love you that much. When I look at you, I see you forever. So if you want me to shout it out from the rooftops I will, I will do anything to make you believe me."

Namjoon stands there wide-eyed, Seokjin lets his tears fall, because dammit Namjoon needed to see how much this was hurting Seokjin.
"I love you Namjoon. I want to share my life with you, I know the sacrifices I will have to make and I've said it before, I am happy to do that. Just please...please come back home with me"

Namjoon has silent tears rolling down his cheeks. Seokjin slowly walks toward Namjoon, who lets him place his hands on his face as he wipes Namjoon's tears. The two stare at each other, emotions all over the place. Namjoon leans forward putting his forehead on the other. Inhaling Seokjin's familiar cologne. He missed the comforting scent, the warmth that he exudes. He breaks down, having missed the elder. He is quick to embrace him, placing his face into the crook of his neck.

"I'm sorry" Namjoon sobs, "fuck, I'm so sorry"
"It's okay." Seokjin comforts, now rubbing his back in circles, "We'll be okay"

Namjoon went home with Seokjin that night, getting to see his new family. The kids cheered loudly at the return of Namjoon, excitedly showing them all of their new toys and the rooms that they had decorated. Namjoon smiles brightly as he cuddled into Seokjin after they put the boys to bed. Seokjin was fast asleep, holding onto Namjoon tightly. Namjoon closed his eyes, feeling lighter as he knew they would continue to conquer their love together.

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